I'm SO exhausted. I've been cleaning, doing laundry, helping my father up and down, running around for the stepmother and basically not getting any real time for myself. The stepmom has been pretty nasty today, screeching and hollering and just all around being a bitch.
I understand she is under a lot of stress, I really do. But my sister and I are there to help (my sister is her biological daughter) and we are doing everything we possibly can, yet we are being treated like shit.
And now... my father thinks I should bring the cats back to Vegas. Oy Vey!! They are finally getting used to being back with him, behaving themselves, but he can't feed them or change his litter box, which means the stepmother must do these things... so what, it takes about 5-8 minutes in the morning to do this and she is complaining that she has to take care of them and my father. WTF? She can't find 6-8 minutes out of the morning, to take care of his cats that make him so happy?
Not to mention they are trying to lease their townhouse in Vegas. Where are those cats going to go when they lease it? I can't take them. I've 6 of my own, plus 3 dogs, not to mention those cats really do not like anyone but my father. So, I don't know what to do... the only reason I came down here, was to bring the cats and it was my freaking stepmothers idea to do it and now she is bitching.
I go home tomorrow. The boy stays. I need to get home in time to get to FedEx in order to send his birth certificate and a few others things so that he can fly home.
We are all stressed out and it's wearing on me pretty bad. I see the edge and I want to jump. I don't want to come out here again, but I can hear the stepmother in my mind telling me how selfish I am... Yeah, I'm selfish. I have children to take care of and I need my strength or I won't be any good to anyone. Stress causes my bipolar to act up worse than normal and when that happens, I'm a mess and again, no good to anyone.
I wish I had something positive to share. I love my father, but I don't want to be here not with him so sick, not with the stepmother screeching at us. I just want to be home, with my daughter, my son and my animals. In my own bed, in my own home, in my own life. This is no life for me. See, selfish. But, if I can't take care of myself, which happens when my bipolar goes into full swing, I can't take care of anyone else. My children suffer, my father suffers, my friends suffer, I'm just no good.
I have a wake up call for 8am and hope to leave here by 9pm, go to the hospital (dad has a doctors appointment at 9) say goodbye and I love you to him and be on the road before 10am. That should put me home around 3 or 4 as long as I don't hit a ton of traffic (which is why I am leaving on a Monday, instead of yesterday to avoid the Christmas traffic)
Say a pray or positive thoughts for me that my trip back will be quick and easy.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Call me crazy...
But I signed up for January's NaBloPoMo. The theme is Change. Not sure that I can come up with a post everyday about Change, but I'll do my best to. Most the time I post everyday, so at least I'll be following that part of it.
I'm not up to writing anymore at this time about my father. My posts of late have just been such downers and while I NEED to get that stuff out of me, so it doesn't fester, I think I am going to try to give it a rest for a few days..
I'm still in Phx, leaving on Monday while the boy will stay till the 3rd of January. A nice break for us all, the girl and me especially.. perhaps we can get some things down around the house, like get his presents out of the living room, then do a good cleaning of it, since it's gone down the drain concerning being clean. He dominates the living room and I can't stand it. So, I'm going to buy myself a new TV, give him my 17" one and move his XBox into his room.. not to mention I really really really want a Wii and the Wii fit and since there is NO room in my own room for it, it will be going into the living room and maybe I can get my living room back!
I thought I lost my wallet tonight. I was freaking out, since the kids and my own social security cards are in it, my drivers license, all my debit cards and some other important things... Somehow it had fallen out of my purse and was under my sisters car I parked next to her, than went to my passenger side and grabbed my things, It didn't even occure to me to look under her car until I got home from karoake... and there it was. Yay!! Boy that was a scary thing, no id which means I couldn't even get a new license and I was afraid that someone would use the kids security cards for theft.. My debit cards are all maxed out, so I wasn't worried about those, but my check book and drivers license is in it, so that has me a bit worried but now I don't have to worry! Yay me!
Even though it's not January, here's some change... the kids social security cards, along with mine and some other things are coming out of my wallet and placed into a card holder that usually sits at the bottom of my purse, I think that will work out better, either that or I'm going to file them in the filing cabinet, just to be save.. yeah, that's probably a better idea.
Thank you to everyone who wished me well wishes, I greatly appreciate it. It really means a lot to me, helps my spirits. Thank you!
I'm not up to writing anymore at this time about my father. My posts of late have just been such downers and while I NEED to get that stuff out of me, so it doesn't fester, I think I am going to try to give it a rest for a few days..
I'm still in Phx, leaving on Monday while the boy will stay till the 3rd of January. A nice break for us all, the girl and me especially.. perhaps we can get some things down around the house, like get his presents out of the living room, then do a good cleaning of it, since it's gone down the drain concerning being clean. He dominates the living room and I can't stand it. So, I'm going to buy myself a new TV, give him my 17" one and move his XBox into his room.. not to mention I really really really want a Wii and the Wii fit and since there is NO room in my own room for it, it will be going into the living room and maybe I can get my living room back!
I thought I lost my wallet tonight. I was freaking out, since the kids and my own social security cards are in it, my drivers license, all my debit cards and some other important things... Somehow it had fallen out of my purse and was under my sisters car I parked next to her, than went to my passenger side and grabbed my things, It didn't even occure to me to look under her car until I got home from karoake... and there it was. Yay!! Boy that was a scary thing, no id which means I couldn't even get a new license and I was afraid that someone would use the kids security cards for theft.. My debit cards are all maxed out, so I wasn't worried about those, but my check book and drivers license is in it, so that has me a bit worried but now I don't have to worry! Yay me!
Even though it's not January, here's some change... the kids social security cards, along with mine and some other things are coming out of my wallet and placed into a card holder that usually sits at the bottom of my purse, I think that will work out better, either that or I'm going to file them in the filing cabinet, just to be save.. yeah, that's probably a better idea.
Thank you to everyone who wished me well wishes, I greatly appreciate it. It really means a lot to me, helps my spirits. Thank you!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
My father.
I'm here in Phx, once again to visit with my father. Those who do not know, he has been here since August waiting for a heart transplant. Currently, the only thing keeping him alive are medications, IV style. He and his wife have a small apartment now, a minute from the Mayo Clinic where the transplant will be done.
I am the strong one in the family. I don't cry in front of any of them, keeping my emotions in check. It took me 7 hours to make a 5 hour drive due to traffic. When I arrived I was exhausted, but my fathers wife needed help so I stayed with them for about 4 hours doing things around the apartment.
At one point my father, who cannot walk without a walker now, (he is 65), cannot get up off the chair or couch or bed, without help and needs help going to the bathroom. In August before coming down here, he was 6'4 and 300 pounds. Now he weighs 215. After dinner he was sitting on the couch and couldn't get up, I helped him up, gave him his walker and watched him walk down towards the bathroom...
As I watched him walking, I was taken back to 4 years ago, watching my grandmother use the same type of walker, till she could no longer stand and began sitting on it scooting with her feet or being pushed by one of us... a month later she was dead.
I broke down. As he left the room, I began crying so hard that I was hyperventilating. The only reason I am here is my stepmother asked me to come, said it would make him happy to see us. I, ever the selfish girl, would like to leave right now and go home without seeing him again. I don't want to remember him like this and I fear that he will not get a heart in time. I've tried to keep positive thoughts, but seeing him last night was the last straw. I cried all the way to the hotel and cried myself to sleep...
I just don't know what to do anymore. This is pushing me over the edge and has me pretty scared.
I am the strong one in the family. I don't cry in front of any of them, keeping my emotions in check. It took me 7 hours to make a 5 hour drive due to traffic. When I arrived I was exhausted, but my fathers wife needed help so I stayed with them for about 4 hours doing things around the apartment.
At one point my father, who cannot walk without a walker now, (he is 65), cannot get up off the chair or couch or bed, without help and needs help going to the bathroom. In August before coming down here, he was 6'4 and 300 pounds. Now he weighs 215. After dinner he was sitting on the couch and couldn't get up, I helped him up, gave him his walker and watched him walk down towards the bathroom...
As I watched him walking, I was taken back to 4 years ago, watching my grandmother use the same type of walker, till she could no longer stand and began sitting on it scooting with her feet or being pushed by one of us... a month later she was dead.
I broke down. As he left the room, I began crying so hard that I was hyperventilating. The only reason I am here is my stepmother asked me to come, said it would make him happy to see us. I, ever the selfish girl, would like to leave right now and go home without seeing him again. I don't want to remember him like this and I fear that he will not get a heart in time. I've tried to keep positive thoughts, but seeing him last night was the last straw. I cried all the way to the hotel and cried myself to sleep...
I just don't know what to do anymore. This is pushing me over the edge and has me pretty scared.
Phoenix and Photo Friday
Things are not good and I'm just too tired to write about them tonight.
Thanks to Sarcastic Mom she has a weekly photo contest on Fridays. While I don't have much energy (sorry for not responding to comments, I will as soon as I have some energy)I've decided to still participate...
Some special Christmas Bokeh for Lotus:
Mt. Charleston
On the way to Mt Charleston
Thanks to Sarcastic Mom she has a weekly photo contest on Fridays. While I don't have much energy (sorry for not responding to comments, I will as soon as I have some energy)I've decided to still participate...
Some special Christmas Bokeh for Lotus:
Mt. Charleston
On the way to Mt Charleston
Thursday, December 25, 2008
And so another Christmas ends
The kids loved everything they received. We had our traditional bagel,cream cheese and lox for breakfast and then I went to go back and lay down. Instead of going back to sleep, I of course had to open up the laptop. Duh! So, finally at 11:15 I closed the laptop and my eyes, only to have my daughter wake me up at 11:30 to let me know that dinner was at 3pm at her friends house. UGH!
So, I got my fat...err lazy ass out of bed, to make the spinach dip and cut the sourdough bread, take a shower, put some makeup on and off I went. The boy asked if he could go to his best friends house and so he did that. I seriously took a valium, because for some reason I don't socialize quite well with others. Seriously, I don't. Small talk does nothing for me, but bore me. Give me a deep intellectual conversation anytime and I'm gnawing on it like a dog on a bone.
I got there, with spinach dip in hand and a couple of candles, around 2pm. The woman had not even begun dinner, other than mash potatoes! And no turkey :( she made Cornish hens instead. (since my surgery, I am unable to keep chicken down). I can't remember her name, of course, but she was nice enough. I helped her get the stuff ready to put in the oven, but dinner wasn't at 3pm..
While waiting for the tiny little chickens to cook, they brought out a game called Partini. I'm also not one for board games (I know, what the hell DO I like you're asking yourself right about now) But I have to tell you, Partini was a lot of fun.
I was a bit uncomfortable at the dinner table, once we finally sat down for dinner at 6pm, yeah, you read that right, 6pm, NOT 3pm!!!!!! One of the boys kept farting at the table and the father I got pretty bad vibes from. While I understand we all have to pass gas, personally I think you should get up from the table and go poo if you are going to have THAT much gas. Bah.
The valium kicked in, sometime while waiting for dinner, so I engaged in small talk. Yeah, me, small talk, engaging in it... My daughter says as we were leaving..
"My mom doesn't like people, but she did really good this time"
Ever feel like putting your kid back where they came from?
But all in all it was a nice Christmas. And some other news?? In the next post. Heh
So, I got my fat...err lazy ass out of bed, to make the spinach dip and cut the sourdough bread, take a shower, put some makeup on and off I went. The boy asked if he could go to his best friends house and so he did that. I seriously took a valium, because for some reason I don't socialize quite well with others. Seriously, I don't. Small talk does nothing for me, but bore me. Give me a deep intellectual conversation anytime and I'm gnawing on it like a dog on a bone.
I got there, with spinach dip in hand and a couple of candles, around 2pm. The woman had not even begun dinner, other than mash potatoes! And no turkey :( she made Cornish hens instead. (since my surgery, I am unable to keep chicken down). I can't remember her name, of course, but she was nice enough. I helped her get the stuff ready to put in the oven, but dinner wasn't at 3pm..
While waiting for the tiny little chickens to cook, they brought out a game called Partini. I'm also not one for board games (I know, what the hell DO I like you're asking yourself right about now) But I have to tell you, Partini was a lot of fun.
I was a bit uncomfortable at the dinner table, once we finally sat down for dinner at 6pm, yeah, you read that right, 6pm, NOT 3pm!!!!!! One of the boys kept farting at the table and the father I got pretty bad vibes from. While I understand we all have to pass gas, personally I think you should get up from the table and go poo if you are going to have THAT much gas. Bah.
The valium kicked in, sometime while waiting for dinner, so I engaged in small talk. Yeah, me, small talk, engaging in it... My daughter says as we were leaving..
"My mom doesn't like people, but she did really good this time"
Ever feel like putting your kid back where they came from?
But all in all it was a nice Christmas. And some other news?? In the next post. Heh
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The first Christmas post of 2008
Oh, come on in, sit down if you can find some room. As you can see I've redecorated AGAIN and Christmas really hasn't come, well its midnight now, but the kids are asleep and no presents have been open.. I didn't do much this year, wasn't quite in the mood actually, but here, let me show you a few things, just to keep the spirit of Christmas going... I'll see how I feel in the morning if I take pictures of the kids opening their presents. What? You think I'm a bad mom? Hell, I've been taking pictures of them for 18 and 13 years at Christmas.. doesn't it ever end?
Ok, enough of my bitching let me show you a few things..
This was the fake tree that someone gave us a few years ago. When we put it up, we found that it was broken, so it's been leaning against the wall this whole time, but the moment I began putting presents under it, it decided to fall over. Yeah. FALL.OVER.
See that bright light to the right of the tree? Can you see it? Well, that's my lighted star that fell over when the tree fell over. Yeah. I didn't feel like messing with the tree any more and was worried that it would fall again if I tried to fix the star.. so I left it there. Nice, eh?
Be careful where you walk, seems some ornaments broke and I'm just not going to vacuum at midnight. See those three stockings? The polka dot one is the girls, the one with the green bow is the boys and yeah.. the one with the peace dove on it is mine (say hi to Buddha). Notice that the stocking looks like they have stuff in them? At least the two end ones. The middle one? Mine? Nada. Not even a clump of coal.
Just in case you want a close up of my stocking (remember to be careful, broken ornaments and such)See, it's empty. Bah.
And to make up for all of it, the boy received 50$ from my mother for Christmas and asked me to take him shopping for his sister. I told him I knew exactly what she wanted, which was this huge blush brush that powder comes out of and it wasn't very expensive at all. I knew this because we had just got back from the market and it was there. So I took him there and waited in the car for him to come out. He took forever and I was getting cold...
Then he knocks on the back window to open the back of the Jeep. Confused, since the blush brush was small enough for him to put in the front seat with us, I unlocked it for him..
And because he had no where to hide it, he decided to give me my Christmas present early...
Heh. He barely fits on my bed. He's the same size almost of the boy who is 5'6. He's soft and cuddly and is taking up most of my bed as I write this. The boy says now I have something to cuddle with at night...
Gotta love a child who spends his Christmas money on others instead of himself. Maybe I AM raising him right..
Happy Holidays everyone!
Ok, enough of my bitching let me show you a few things..
This was the fake tree that someone gave us a few years ago. When we put it up, we found that it was broken, so it's been leaning against the wall this whole time, but the moment I began putting presents under it, it decided to fall over. Yeah. FALL.OVER.
See that bright light to the right of the tree? Can you see it? Well, that's my lighted star that fell over when the tree fell over. Yeah. I didn't feel like messing with the tree any more and was worried that it would fall again if I tried to fix the star.. so I left it there. Nice, eh?
Be careful where you walk, seems some ornaments broke and I'm just not going to vacuum at midnight. See those three stockings? The polka dot one is the girls, the one with the green bow is the boys and yeah.. the one with the peace dove on it is mine (say hi to Buddha). Notice that the stocking looks like they have stuff in them? At least the two end ones. The middle one? Mine? Nada. Not even a clump of coal.
Just in case you want a close up of my stocking (remember to be careful, broken ornaments and such)See, it's empty. Bah.
And to make up for all of it, the boy received 50$ from my mother for Christmas and asked me to take him shopping for his sister. I told him I knew exactly what she wanted, which was this huge blush brush that powder comes out of and it wasn't very expensive at all. I knew this because we had just got back from the market and it was there. So I took him there and waited in the car for him to come out. He took forever and I was getting cold...
Then he knocks on the back window to open the back of the Jeep. Confused, since the blush brush was small enough for him to put in the front seat with us, I unlocked it for him..
And because he had no where to hide it, he decided to give me my Christmas present early...
Heh. He barely fits on my bed. He's the same size almost of the boy who is 5'6. He's soft and cuddly and is taking up most of my bed as I write this. The boy says now I have something to cuddle with at night...
Gotta love a child who spends his Christmas money on others instead of himself. Maybe I AM raising him right..
Happy Holidays everyone!
I love this
I read this on Putting the Fun in Dysfunctional so I stole it from her... Good thing she doesn't read my blog!!
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."
~Bob Perks
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."
~Bob Perks
And away we go...
Today begins the whirlwind that will last until Monday. Today the kids will beg to open up one present from under the tree and I, as always will say no, till they make me crazy and I throw up my hands in complete aggravation and allow them to open one present, even though they only have a few to open on Christmas...
Tomorrow will be both a typical and non typical day for Christmas. Up around 7, presents opened.. and then mom (that's me) goes back to sleep for a few hours. The girls best friends family has invited us for dinner, so sometime before I go, I'll need to prepare something, or maybe I'll just go get some pies from the pie place.
I'm not particularly looking forward to this, as I am probably the most unsocial person in the entire world (I didn't use to be, but as I got older, about my late 30's I stopped pretending that I liked people) so for me to go interact with people I don't know has me pretty anxious. I'll be taking a Valium or xanex or both for that matter, for sure. My daughter assures me that her friends mother is just like me, however apparently she is totally excited that I'll be coming for dinner. Yay her. I will do my very best to put on a happy face with a positive attitude, though how long that will last is beyond me. I don't even know these people, so I'll have to work extra hard to be nice, something that doesn't come easy to me! Yay me.
Then Friday, that long trip down to Phx. Don't get me wrong, I want to see my father, I just hate the drive. I was able to get both the cats after chasing Angel around for 20 minutes (Max was good about me getting him, but scratched and bitched about being put in his box carrier. His howling was both annoying and sad. Angel didn't make a sound just peed in her box which leaked all over my stepmother floor in the kitchen (that's where we finally were able to grab her)So, the hard part is over.. They will both be sedated for the trip down, otherwise I will need a sedative after wards.
I am doing this for my father. It is a surprise that the boy, me and the cats are coming and we are hoping this will raise his spirits as he has been very depressed as of late. Not sure yet how I am going to feed the boy and I while down there. My stepmother is paying for the hotel room so that's taken care of and I had thought that the boy would spend the weekend at their house, leaving me some much needed alone time at the hotel, but my stupid sister and her over aged boyfriend is staying with them (even though they can afford a hotel room) so there's no room for the boy and he is pretty bummed. Oh well, maybe it'll be a nice bonding experience for the boy and I... not.
I had intended on returning Sunday, but I decided that I don't want to drive in all that traffic, so we will be coming back on Monday. I'm also leaving the girl behind and trusting her that there will be no people in the house while I am gone, although she has asked if her friend Malibu can spend the night one night. I've given the ok, but if I find out that there was more than one person here especially boys, then she is in deep shit... I don't see that happening. I really trust her. She's a good girl. I'll have to find somewhere some money in case she needs to eat... though I don't think it'll kill her to go 3 days without eating.. do you?
Of course I'll be taking my laptop and my camera (which I take every where with me anyways) then I'll be piling up the car with pots and pans from their kitchen, sheets and her computer to take down to them. After loading the car, it's off to the vet where the cats will be sedated and quiet. Yay cats.
I don't seem to have much holiday cheer, but that's not unusual for me, Dec is not a good month for me, ever.
So, that's pretty much in a nutshell what I'll be doing...
Do tell, what will you be doing this Christmas and the immediate days following?
Happy Holidays to one and all.
Tomorrow will be both a typical and non typical day for Christmas. Up around 7, presents opened.. and then mom (that's me) goes back to sleep for a few hours. The girls best friends family has invited us for dinner, so sometime before I go, I'll need to prepare something, or maybe I'll just go get some pies from the pie place.
I'm not particularly looking forward to this, as I am probably the most unsocial person in the entire world (I didn't use to be, but as I got older, about my late 30's I stopped pretending that I liked people) so for me to go interact with people I don't know has me pretty anxious. I'll be taking a Valium or xanex or both for that matter, for sure. My daughter assures me that her friends mother is just like me, however apparently she is totally excited that I'll be coming for dinner. Yay her. I will do my very best to put on a happy face with a positive attitude, though how long that will last is beyond me. I don't even know these people, so I'll have to work extra hard to be nice, something that doesn't come easy to me! Yay me.
Then Friday, that long trip down to Phx. Don't get me wrong, I want to see my father, I just hate the drive. I was able to get both the cats after chasing Angel around for 20 minutes (Max was good about me getting him, but scratched and bitched about being put in his box carrier. His howling was both annoying and sad. Angel didn't make a sound just peed in her box which leaked all over my stepmother floor in the kitchen (that's where we finally were able to grab her)So, the hard part is over.. They will both be sedated for the trip down, otherwise I will need a sedative after wards.
I am doing this for my father. It is a surprise that the boy, me and the cats are coming and we are hoping this will raise his spirits as he has been very depressed as of late. Not sure yet how I am going to feed the boy and I while down there. My stepmother is paying for the hotel room so that's taken care of and I had thought that the boy would spend the weekend at their house, leaving me some much needed alone time at the hotel, but my stupid sister and her over aged boyfriend is staying with them (even though they can afford a hotel room) so there's no room for the boy and he is pretty bummed. Oh well, maybe it'll be a nice bonding experience for the boy and I... not.
I had intended on returning Sunday, but I decided that I don't want to drive in all that traffic, so we will be coming back on Monday. I'm also leaving the girl behind and trusting her that there will be no people in the house while I am gone, although she has asked if her friend Malibu can spend the night one night. I've given the ok, but if I find out that there was more than one person here especially boys, then she is in deep shit... I don't see that happening. I really trust her. She's a good girl. I'll have to find somewhere some money in case she needs to eat... though I don't think it'll kill her to go 3 days without eating.. do you?
Of course I'll be taking my laptop and my camera (which I take every where with me anyways) then I'll be piling up the car with pots and pans from their kitchen, sheets and her computer to take down to them. After loading the car, it's off to the vet where the cats will be sedated and quiet. Yay cats.
I don't seem to have much holiday cheer, but that's not unusual for me, Dec is not a good month for me, ever.
So, that's pretty much in a nutshell what I'll be doing...
Do tell, what will you be doing this Christmas and the immediate days following?
Happy Holidays to one and all.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Maybe one day.
I don't share my suicide experience, or rather my adult suicide experience..It's too still close to home, even though it's been 5 years now. Maybe one day.
For now though I'd like to share this link To Write on Her Arms
Next month I plan on buying the book, Purpose for the pain
I suppose if I pulled out all my diaries, I could copy them and make a book, as well as share my couple of childhood suicide attempts.. but they are mine and I'm still to selfish to share them..Perhaps that is why I haven't shared my most recent one.
Oh well.. maybe one day.
For now though I'd like to share this link To Write on Her Arms
Next month I plan on buying the book, Purpose for the pain
I suppose if I pulled out all my diaries, I could copy them and make a book, as well as share my couple of childhood suicide attempts.. but they are mine and I'm still to selfish to share them..Perhaps that is why I haven't shared my most recent one.
Oh well.. maybe one day.
Grants, Financial Aid and the like
Help!!!!! No, I really mean it. Help!!!
The girl and I are trying to figure out how to get her financial aid, in the form of grants, regular aid and whatever we can get...
And I don't know how to do it. Some background info..
I'm disabled. No one in the immediate family has a college degree (I tried, but stuff happened and no degree). We are poor. Her grades aren't great, but they aren't terrible either (thus she doesn't qualify for a scholarship). She is going to a 2 year college first, than would like to go to a University. We get no child support(not sure if that matters). Hmm.. not sure what else is needed.
Seriously, bloggyland I need help. I don't know where to look, I don't know which ones she would qualify for, how many can she apply for and all that jazz..
If you can help me out, please send me an email to wisprnsoul@cox.net (that's wisprnsoul @ cox dot net) Please send help! I realize that this is a busy time right now, but maybe after Christmas you can help me out??
The girl and I are trying to figure out how to get her financial aid, in the form of grants, regular aid and whatever we can get...
And I don't know how to do it. Some background info..
I'm disabled. No one in the immediate family has a college degree (I tried, but stuff happened and no degree). We are poor. Her grades aren't great, but they aren't terrible either (thus she doesn't qualify for a scholarship). She is going to a 2 year college first, than would like to go to a University. We get no child support(not sure if that matters). Hmm.. not sure what else is needed.
Seriously, bloggyland I need help. I don't know where to look, I don't know which ones she would qualify for, how many can she apply for and all that jazz..
If you can help me out, please send me an email to wisprnsoul@cox.net (that's wisprnsoul @ cox dot net) Please send help! I realize that this is a busy time right now, but maybe after Christmas you can help me out??
Happy Holidays
This is the Christmas card I sent out to my email friends and am now sending out to my bloggyland friends. Enjoy your holidays everyone!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
My Father...
My father and I have not always gotten along very well. There have been periods of time when I went without speaking to him. It's been a long hard life with him.
But, since he's been sick, we have gotten along much better. He's less critical, but I believe that is because he knows it'll get a rise out of me and create stress in his life that he is not supposed to have.
My stepmother just wrote me saying he is having difficulty getting in and out of chairs, the bed and walking... IF he is getting sicker, they will most likely bump him up on the UNO's list.
I haven't been completely honest. I, like the girl, hate going to Az to see him. He has deteriorated so bad, he really does look like my gram shortly before she passed and it just kills me to be around him like that...
But, he's my dad and my stepmother and I both think that having the cats with him will cheer him up, so as much as I hate seeing him that way, I will do this for him, just to see his smile.
It might be the last time I see it.
But, since he's been sick, we have gotten along much better. He's less critical, but I believe that is because he knows it'll get a rise out of me and create stress in his life that he is not supposed to have.
My stepmother just wrote me saying he is having difficulty getting in and out of chairs, the bed and walking... IF he is getting sicker, they will most likely bump him up on the UNO's list.
I haven't been completely honest. I, like the girl, hate going to Az to see him. He has deteriorated so bad, he really does look like my gram shortly before she passed and it just kills me to be around him like that...
But, he's my dad and my stepmother and I both think that having the cats with him will cheer him up, so as much as I hate seeing him that way, I will do this for him, just to see his smile.
It might be the last time I see it.
Another contest...
For a gift of a really nice potholder and kitchen towel, go over to Glimpse and leave a comment. There are a few ways to win, so read all the way through the post!
Wish me luck!
Wish me luck!
For the love of St. Nick giveaway...
If anyone knows me, they know I love love love books. My kids get books every year for birthdays and Christmas and my love of books has captured the girl too. We cannot go into a bookstore without buying 5 or 6 or more books at a time. (I usually get more, but that's because more often than not, mine are from the bargin center of the book store and well, I'm paying for them!)
Great giveaway over at Tara's view on books she is giving away, For the love of St. Nick and I would love to win it...
Winner is chosen after Christmas, go and check it out!
Great giveaway over at Tara's view on books she is giving away, For the love of St. Nick and I would love to win it...
Winner is chosen after Christmas, go and check it out!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sunday photo post..
It's just about Sunday, around a half an hour before it's actually Sunday, but I'm pretty busy tomorrow so I'm posting my Sunday photo now. This contest is put on each week by Sarcastic Mom check her out.. her button for weekly winners is over there -----> on my sidebar..
So this past week, we got the worse snowstorm we have seen in 20 years (remember, I live in Vegas)and here are a few pictures I took this week..
Side street by my house..
Tree in my front yard..
Main street from my front yard..
And last but not least.. neighbors palm tree and bushes..
So this past week, we got the worse snowstorm we have seen in 20 years (remember, I live in Vegas)and here are a few pictures I took this week..
Side street by my house..
Tree in my front yard..
Main street from my front yard..
And last but not least.. neighbors palm tree and bushes..
My father and waiting...
And the doctors have said it could be 3-6 months before he gets a new heart. There are 4 people ahead of him with the same blood type and stuff..
We weren't going to go for Christmas or even during the vacation from school. I can't afford it. Seriously, there is less than 20$ in my bank account, I won't tell you what that has to buy for the rest of the month, till Jan 3rd, but I can tell you that it won't make it..
Now, my stepmother talked to my fathers doctors and they have agreed that it would be ok for him to have his two cats. They are HIS cats, they hate everyone else. He hasn't seen them since August. I'm betting they are pretty pissed off at him right now...
There's no one that lives up here that can bring them down right away, but me, apparently. Don't get me wrong, I want to see my father and I want him to have his cats, but I don't have the money.. that's when my sister called and said, Mom (her mom) said she will pay for your hotel and stuff if you would bring the cats down this week.. ugh.
I can't say no. It's my father. His cats. I've heard that animals help with the healing of humans. What can I do, other than say ok and fire off an email to my stepmother asking her if there is anything else in the house she needs me to bring down... she replies with her desktop computer and all the accessories and some sheet sets for the bed. These are all doable things, no problem doing it..
The cats though? Not so easy. They really need to be tranquilized, but that's not going to happen. Somehow, I have to figure out how to get them, then get them into their cardboard box carries, then get them to the vet for a well checkup.. leave them there Christmas eve and Christmas day, picking them up and driving them 4 1/2 hours to Phx with them probably crying and screaming the whole way on Friday. I think I'm going to see if they can be tranquilized Friday morning for the ride there. I know I am going to need one after that drive.
Oh and btw..
My father has no idea that we are coming, or that he can have the cats and they are coming too. It should be a nice surprise for him except,the girl has to stay here, since she is president of the forensics club and is the prosecutor in a mock trial, she has to meet with real lawyers over the holidays.. she doesn't like the trip any ways and bitches most the time there and back. The boy will like it though. He'll get to sit in front, get me all to himself and most likely get to stay at Papa's for the weekend (and maybe the week if they will fly him back up here), him staying there and me at a hotel by myself.. ahh.. how nice will that be!!!!
Now, if I can figure out who I can borrow money from for the gas down there, all should be nearly okey-dokey.
We weren't going to go for Christmas or even during the vacation from school. I can't afford it. Seriously, there is less than 20$ in my bank account, I won't tell you what that has to buy for the rest of the month, till Jan 3rd, but I can tell you that it won't make it..
Now, my stepmother talked to my fathers doctors and they have agreed that it would be ok for him to have his two cats. They are HIS cats, they hate everyone else. He hasn't seen them since August. I'm betting they are pretty pissed off at him right now...
There's no one that lives up here that can bring them down right away, but me, apparently. Don't get me wrong, I want to see my father and I want him to have his cats, but I don't have the money.. that's when my sister called and said, Mom (her mom) said she will pay for your hotel and stuff if you would bring the cats down this week.. ugh.
I can't say no. It's my father. His cats. I've heard that animals help with the healing of humans. What can I do, other than say ok and fire off an email to my stepmother asking her if there is anything else in the house she needs me to bring down... she replies with her desktop computer and all the accessories and some sheet sets for the bed. These are all doable things, no problem doing it..
The cats though? Not so easy. They really need to be tranquilized, but that's not going to happen. Somehow, I have to figure out how to get them, then get them into their cardboard box carries, then get them to the vet for a well checkup.. leave them there Christmas eve and Christmas day, picking them up and driving them 4 1/2 hours to Phx with them probably crying and screaming the whole way on Friday. I think I'm going to see if they can be tranquilized Friday morning for the ride there. I know I am going to need one after that drive.
Oh and btw..
My father has no idea that we are coming, or that he can have the cats and they are coming too. It should be a nice surprise for him except,the girl has to stay here, since she is president of the forensics club and is the prosecutor in a mock trial, she has to meet with real lawyers over the holidays.. she doesn't like the trip any ways and bitches most the time there and back. The boy will like it though. He'll get to sit in front, get me all to himself and most likely get to stay at Papa's for the weekend (and maybe the week if they will fly him back up here), him staying there and me at a hotel by myself.. ahh.. how nice will that be!!!!
Now, if I can figure out who I can borrow money from for the gas down there, all should be nearly okey-dokey.
Yes, bloggyland, I really did win..
I finally figured it out... The Parent Bloggers Network. PBN, SEE?? How fricken cool is that!! Now, hold on and I will find the post that won.. (are you thinking of books I can get? I need suggestions for me and my kids, plus I'd like to get my father a book or two.. he likes real story gangster, old gangster, type books)
Here is the post that won me that certificate.. well, the entry to a random drawing at least.. Wrapping up my holiday heh. I am still excited to get some books, for me, for the kids and my dad.. all of us don't mind used books, so if I do it right I can get a ton of different used books..
Oh and about not going to see my father for the holidays..
Check out the next post.
Here is the post that won me that certificate.. well, the entry to a random drawing at least.. Wrapping up my holiday heh. I am still excited to get some books, for me, for the kids and my dad.. all of us don't mind used books, so if I do it right I can get a ton of different used books..
Oh and about not going to see my father for the holidays..
Check out the next post.
I won????
From somewhere in bloggyland, I won a 100$ gift certificate to Amazon.com. I've clicked on the start shopping button and it's real.. but really I knew it was real when I read this at the bottom of the gift certificate...
"Congrats on winning the Holiday Overload Blog Blast!"
It also says, To:Lea From:PBN
Huh?
I've looked through all my blogs that I read, well at least the ones that have been recently updated (that's how my blog list rolls, newly updated are on the top of the list). I can't find any blog so far telling me that I won. I have NO clue who PBN is. Maybe I should go through my own blog and look at the contests I've entered. Now, if I have remembered each time, each contest blog I blog about should come up with a tag of contest or contests. Cross your fingers.
If you're reading this and the one that I won this from, please let me know. I'm a firm believer of thanking people and can't thank you if I don't know who you are..
If you aren't the one I won this from (well, even if you are) any suggestions on books to get? I'm still reading "The Shack" and hope to do a book review on it. Yesterday I picked up "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" which was brought to my attention by Oprah.
So, what books have you read lately that you've enjoyed? Remember, I have an eclectic taste in books and most everything, so even without knowing whether I would like it or not, do tell me what you've read lately and enjoyed... it also helps me get to know you better too! Also, what about some good kid books, for a 13 year old boy and an almost 18 year old girl.. and I want to send my father a couple of books, he likes gangster style books. Old gangsters, not new ones and other real life stuff..
Suggestions please!
"Congrats on winning the Holiday Overload Blog Blast!"
It also says, To:Lea From:PBN
Huh?
I've looked through all my blogs that I read, well at least the ones that have been recently updated (that's how my blog list rolls, newly updated are on the top of the list). I can't find any blog so far telling me that I won. I have NO clue who PBN is. Maybe I should go through my own blog and look at the contests I've entered. Now, if I have remembered each time, each contest blog I blog about should come up with a tag of contest or contests. Cross your fingers.
If you're reading this and the one that I won this from, please let me know. I'm a firm believer of thanking people and can't thank you if I don't know who you are..
If you aren't the one I won this from (well, even if you are) any suggestions on books to get? I'm still reading "The Shack" and hope to do a book review on it. Yesterday I picked up "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" which was brought to my attention by Oprah.
So, what books have you read lately that you've enjoyed? Remember, I have an eclectic taste in books and most everything, so even without knowing whether I would like it or not, do tell me what you've read lately and enjoyed... it also helps me get to know you better too! Also, what about some good kid books, for a 13 year old boy and an almost 18 year old girl.. and I want to send my father a couple of books, he likes gangster style books. Old gangsters, not new ones and other real life stuff..
Suggestions please!
Santa and FedEx..
Yeah. Yesterday FedEx didn't leave my daughters new power cord for her computer on my doorstep, making me instead go today and wait in line for 45 minutes (because why on earth on Saturday before Christmas would they have more than 2 customer service people waiting on customers?)
5 people in front of me is Santa. Yeah. Santa. Dude, it was Santa. I swear. All dressed up and at Fedex... I SWEAR it was Santa. Big dude, in a red suit with a red hat and a real beard, not those beards you see on those fake Santa's, a REAL.BEARD. Looks like he lost about 20 pounds, but it was Santa.
I know, you don't believe. I didn't either. In fact it was quite distressing to see him at Fedex, but dude has a ton of places to go on Christmas, so I can see why he would be sending some packages out Fedex... really.
And if seeing him wasn't proof... while my back was turned and he was walking out the door and everyone was saying goodbye Santa, he let out his..
HO.HO.HO.
The hair on the back of my neck and arms, stood up.
It was Santa and no one can tell me otherwise
5 people in front of me is Santa. Yeah. Santa. Dude, it was Santa. I swear. All dressed up and at Fedex... I SWEAR it was Santa. Big dude, in a red suit with a red hat and a real beard, not those beards you see on those fake Santa's, a REAL.BEARD. Looks like he lost about 20 pounds, but it was Santa.
I know, you don't believe. I didn't either. In fact it was quite distressing to see him at Fedex, but dude has a ton of places to go on Christmas, so I can see why he would be sending some packages out Fedex... really.
And if seeing him wasn't proof... while my back was turned and he was walking out the door and everyone was saying goodbye Santa, he let out his..
HO.HO.HO.
The hair on the back of my neck and arms, stood up.
It was Santa and no one can tell me otherwise
I cannot..
Read this blog Our blessed Life I think that's what it is called...
Anyhoo... I can't read it with out breaking out in tears. You know how you try to keep them down? That lump in your throat and the not breathing, cause if you don't breathe then the tears can't come. Whew...
I just know to many who have suffered from cancer, too many who have died and thankfully a few that have made it through the horror...
I sent this lady a Christmas card, hoping that it cheers her up a bit, not that I have such power, but I know for me it would cheer me up if people sent me Christmas cards, especially if I didn't know them... If you would like to send her a card, email Prudentiablog@aol.com to get Amys address.
Anyhoo... I can't read it with out breaking out in tears. You know how you try to keep them down? That lump in your throat and the not breathing, cause if you don't breathe then the tears can't come. Whew...
I just know to many who have suffered from cancer, too many who have died and thankfully a few that have made it through the horror...
I sent this lady a Christmas card, hoping that it cheers her up a bit, not that I have such power, but I know for me it would cheer me up if people sent me Christmas cards, especially if I didn't know them... If you would like to send her a card, email Prudentiablog@aol.com to get Amys address.
Great Giveaway...
Over at Sunshine and Lemonade she is giving away a date night! No, not with her!! With whoever you choose. A gift certificate to your choice of On the Border, Chili's, Macaroni Grill or Maggiano's.. YUMMY Macaroni Grill, that's my choice!
Plus, a gift certificate to Regal Theatre's. If I win I'm taking the boy to Macaroni Grill and then to see Marley and Me. That'll be my date night and we will have a ton of fun doing both!
Second place is a DVD of Love Actually! Go and check her out!
Plus, a gift certificate to Regal Theatre's. If I win I'm taking the boy to Macaroni Grill and then to see Marley and Me. That'll be my date night and we will have a ton of fun doing both!
Second place is a DVD of Love Actually! Go and check her out!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Not sure
That I like the seasonal background I put on this blog here... it kind of reminds me of those people that wear Christmas sweaters. Yuck. Gross.
But, trying to be in the moment of the holiday, I'll keep it there till Dec 26th (which coincidentally is the same day I take down our Christmas tree!) Then perhaps I can find something festive for New Years.
Off to try and get some sleep.
But, trying to be in the moment of the holiday, I'll keep it there till Dec 26th (which coincidentally is the same day I take down our Christmas tree!) Then perhaps I can find something festive for New Years.
Off to try and get some sleep.
Photo Phriday
I've decided to post 3 pictures this time.. This first picture was taken on the way to Mi Wuk Village Inn. The MiWuk Inn was owned by my Uncles girlfriend, but unfortunately she lost it to forclosure this year. She'd owned it for many years, it simply wasn't making the money it should have. I don't know why, since it is probably the most awesome place to go vacation to, when you can't afford Hawaii and well.. when you get free hotel rooms. I feel bad she lost it though, it really was an awesome place...
This picture was taken in the parking lot, a partial view of the Inn and if you look closely you can see an arrow pointing to the rooms we had, on the third floor of the Inn...
This last one was taken while we were horseback riding. I actually have more in this type of genre and will post them next friday.
Thanks to Candid Carrie for holding photo phridays!
This picture was taken in the parking lot, a partial view of the Inn and if you look closely you can see an arrow pointing to the rooms we had, on the third floor of the Inn...
This last one was taken while we were horseback riding. I actually have more in this type of genre and will post them next friday.
Thanks to Candid Carrie for holding photo phridays!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Ok, so here's the deal...
I wrote to that lady of a blog, asking her for help in fixing mine, since she uses the same blogger that I do. She never replied. That's ok, I wasn't sure that she would cause lets face it, not everyone is nice and not everyone is willing to help out...
So, here's what I need.
I want to change my picture on my page and I can't remember how I put it there or how to change it. Do you know?
I would like to have a column on the left side of my blog for links. I can't figure out how to do it. Do you know? (and no, in the area where you add a gadget, there is no left column to do so)
For now,that's all I need help with. Not difficult right? You would think so, but for some reason I seem to be challenged on this... you can leave a comment or email me at wisprnsoul@cox.net
Thanks!
So, here's what I need.
I want to change my picture on my page and I can't remember how I put it there or how to change it. Do you know?
I would like to have a column on the left side of my blog for links. I can't figure out how to do it. Do you know? (and no, in the area where you add a gadget, there is no left column to do so)
For now,that's all I need help with. Not difficult right? You would think so, but for some reason I seem to be challenged on this... you can leave a comment or email me at wisprnsoul@cox.net
Thanks!
A Christmas Present... and more about snow.
My brother and sister in law sent me a 25$ gift certificate to help the poor. I was really looking forward to that 100$ certificate to Target, dammit. I.AM.THE.POOR. why couldn't you send money to ME! Oh the selfishness of me, but I digress..
A gift certificate to help the poor, they mean poorer than me. They are all into that stuff right now, hopefully that'll change next year... err umm.. yeah, they are all into that stuff, which is a good thing really. I think it comes from the fact that they recently adopted an adorable little girl from Ethiopia, Averie Lyn, *rummaging through emails.. I think I have a picture of her in here somewhere* oh, ok, there it is.
That's my nephew Austin with her. I have another niece too, she's not in this picture. They are 4,(Austin)3(Allison) and 2(Averie Lyn) kudo's to my brother and SIL, not just for adopting Averie, but for having 3 kids so close to the same age... Me? I waited 6 years in between all 3 of mine. I mean come on, they needed to be older in order to help feed, change and push the stroller, cause I'm too lazy.. err I believe that everyone helps out in the house one way or another...
So, back to my Christmas present. It was actually pretty cool. I went to the website OptiNow. It's for Entrepreneurs in impoverished countries. I wanted to find a mother, married or not, didn't matter. As long as she was a mother. That narrowed it down a little bit. From there, I wasn't really sure what else I wanted other than a very poor country, more so than others.
I choose Ghana. Which really narrowed it down more. At first I decided to find an artist, but in Ghana there weren't any, so I looked around a bit. For some reason I wanted to stay away from retailers of clothing and toys, preferring to find someone that was starting/running a business that people actually need. (I know, people need clothing and kids should have toys, but wrap a sheet around you and play in the dirt.. see you CAN live without either of those two things)
So that narrowed it down even more. What CAN'T you live without... Food. Ahh, a grocery store or mini mart, which in Ghana they don't have mini marts, nor does it seem that they have actual grocery stores, at least not what we are use to here in America. Outdoor veggie stands, small one room markets... that's what they seem to have.
I looked around a bit, didn't take long since I'd narrowed it down to about 8 people. And then, I found her.
Comfort Dufie. (more info on her can be found here Comfort Dufie) Don't you just LOVE her name? That's what first attracted me to her. She's my age, married and has 4 children. Her name caught my eye and it was just icing on the cake that she was in Ghana and had 4 children. I know she was married and there was probably some single mothers out there that needed that 25$ and picking someone because of their name is silly, but hey it was my Christmas gift and I got to do with it what I wanted and she is the one I wanted to help out. So I did and felt good about it. I might have felt better if I'd had that 100$ gift certificate to Target (I KNOW, I am selfish you don't have to point that out to me, although I had intended on buying presents for the kids with my gift certificate, so that balances it out, no?), but nevertheless I felt good helping someone else..She still needs 675$ to complete the "loan" she wants. (check out the website to see how all that works) I think if I can, every few months I might send her a little bit to get her closer to her goal.
*****
Snow. There is no school today because of the snow. For those of you who have never heard of such a thing, it's called a "snow day". The boy has had snow days before, from living back east for 4 years. The girl, never has had a snow day in her life, but then she has lived in Vegas since she was 8 weeks old. Yes, I know that doesn't make sense, another time I'll explain why she didn't live back east with us too. Long story and this is already a long post, plus I'd like to go back to bed, being that it's 6am and I don't have to take her to school today...
So, yeah, they have a "snow day" even though the snow appeared to have stopped sometime during the night, but Vegas shuts down during storms like this (even big rain storms cause Vegas to become semi immobilized. So imagine what happens when we get snow!). It looks like I got about 4-5 inches here, Henderson got about 8 inches. Mt. Charleston got 11 inches. We definitely set records here yesterday and through the night.
According to the news, it looks like we may get some snow or rain on Christmas, which would be way cool! Right now, there are still roads closed down. IF I had wanted to or needed to get out of Vegas last night, I couldn't have, unless I was going to Utah. The roads were shut down at Stateline, so you couldn't get to California (or come into Vegas for that matter)Railroad Pass was shut down, which meant you couldn't get to Laughlin or in my case, to Phoenix should they have called me letting me know that Dad was getting a new heart. (I couldn't have gone anyways, since I'm flat freaking broke) You could BARELY get from one side of town to another.
Ok, well, I better get some more sleep in, a few more hours. The kids won't be up for a couple more hours and won't wake me up any how.. one of the benefits of having kids old enough to take care of themselves. Yay, kids! And if you are wondering, it's 34 degrees here, cold cold cold. Rio doesn't like it much at all. Shylo was loving it last night, we'll see how she reacts today, with snow still on the ground. And gazeline, my daughters dog, liked the snow too, but being so little (she's 4 pounds and will not get any bigger) she was shivering each time we took her out. Cold, but enjoying it. The cats? They are indoor cats, but occasionally will sneak outside (mostly America does this, but Tiger and Blizzard have been known to run out every once in a while) all of them were making noise till late at night...not sure why though, they are usually pretty quiet.
One last thing. My olive tree in the front yard, lost 4 branches from the snow. Now I need to find someone that has a chainsaw or ax. The trash people won't take the branches as big as they are. (I know this because one branch broke off Monday from the 50+mph winds and they didn't take it yesterday)I just hope that I can get it taken care of before my landlady sees it AND I'm still hoping that one branch that is right over my living room doesn't snap off. I'm nervous that if it does, it'll come through the house. Hope with me that it doesn't do that!!
Off to get a few more hours of sleep!
A gift certificate to help the poor, they mean poorer than me. They are all into that stuff right now, hopefully that'll change next year... err umm.. yeah, they are all into that stuff, which is a good thing really. I think it comes from the fact that they recently adopted an adorable little girl from Ethiopia, Averie Lyn, *rummaging through emails.. I think I have a picture of her in here somewhere* oh, ok, there it is.
That's my nephew Austin with her. I have another niece too, she's not in this picture. They are 4,(Austin)3(Allison) and 2(Averie Lyn) kudo's to my brother and SIL, not just for adopting Averie, but for having 3 kids so close to the same age... Me? I waited 6 years in between all 3 of mine. I mean come on, they needed to be older in order to help feed, change and push the stroller, cause I'm too lazy.. err I believe that everyone helps out in the house one way or another...
So, back to my Christmas present. It was actually pretty cool. I went to the website OptiNow. It's for Entrepreneurs in impoverished countries. I wanted to find a mother, married or not, didn't matter. As long as she was a mother. That narrowed it down a little bit. From there, I wasn't really sure what else I wanted other than a very poor country, more so than others.
I choose Ghana. Which really narrowed it down more. At first I decided to find an artist, but in Ghana there weren't any, so I looked around a bit. For some reason I wanted to stay away from retailers of clothing and toys, preferring to find someone that was starting/running a business that people actually need. (I know, people need clothing and kids should have toys, but wrap a sheet around you and play in the dirt.. see you CAN live without either of those two things)
So that narrowed it down even more. What CAN'T you live without... Food. Ahh, a grocery store or mini mart, which in Ghana they don't have mini marts, nor does it seem that they have actual grocery stores, at least not what we are use to here in America. Outdoor veggie stands, small one room markets... that's what they seem to have.
I looked around a bit, didn't take long since I'd narrowed it down to about 8 people. And then, I found her.
Comfort Dufie. (more info on her can be found here Comfort Dufie) Don't you just LOVE her name? That's what first attracted me to her. She's my age, married and has 4 children. Her name caught my eye and it was just icing on the cake that she was in Ghana and had 4 children. I know she was married and there was probably some single mothers out there that needed that 25$ and picking someone because of their name is silly, but hey it was my Christmas gift and I got to do with it what I wanted and she is the one I wanted to help out. So I did and felt good about it. I might have felt better if I'd had that 100$ gift certificate to Target (I KNOW, I am selfish you don't have to point that out to me, although I had intended on buying presents for the kids with my gift certificate, so that balances it out, no?), but nevertheless I felt good helping someone else..She still needs 675$ to complete the "loan" she wants. (check out the website to see how all that works) I think if I can, every few months I might send her a little bit to get her closer to her goal.
*****
Snow. There is no school today because of the snow. For those of you who have never heard of such a thing, it's called a "snow day". The boy has had snow days before, from living back east for 4 years. The girl, never has had a snow day in her life, but then she has lived in Vegas since she was 8 weeks old. Yes, I know that doesn't make sense, another time I'll explain why she didn't live back east with us too. Long story and this is already a long post, plus I'd like to go back to bed, being that it's 6am and I don't have to take her to school today...
So, yeah, they have a "snow day" even though the snow appeared to have stopped sometime during the night, but Vegas shuts down during storms like this (even big rain storms cause Vegas to become semi immobilized. So imagine what happens when we get snow!). It looks like I got about 4-5 inches here, Henderson got about 8 inches. Mt. Charleston got 11 inches. We definitely set records here yesterday and through the night.
According to the news, it looks like we may get some snow or rain on Christmas, which would be way cool! Right now, there are still roads closed down. IF I had wanted to or needed to get out of Vegas last night, I couldn't have, unless I was going to Utah. The roads were shut down at Stateline, so you couldn't get to California (or come into Vegas for that matter)Railroad Pass was shut down, which meant you couldn't get to Laughlin or in my case, to Phoenix should they have called me letting me know that Dad was getting a new heart. (I couldn't have gone anyways, since I'm flat freaking broke) You could BARELY get from one side of town to another.
Ok, well, I better get some more sleep in, a few more hours. The kids won't be up for a couple more hours and won't wake me up any how.. one of the benefits of having kids old enough to take care of themselves. Yay, kids! And if you are wondering, it's 34 degrees here, cold cold cold. Rio doesn't like it much at all. Shylo was loving it last night, we'll see how she reacts today, with snow still on the ground. And gazeline, my daughters dog, liked the snow too, but being so little (she's 4 pounds and will not get any bigger) she was shivering each time we took her out. Cold, but enjoying it. The cats? They are indoor cats, but occasionally will sneak outside (mostly America does this, but Tiger and Blizzard have been known to run out every once in a while) all of them were making noise till late at night...not sure why though, they are usually pretty quiet.
One last thing. My olive tree in the front yard, lost 4 branches from the snow. Now I need to find someone that has a chainsaw or ax. The trash people won't take the branches as big as they are. (I know this because one branch broke off Monday from the 50+mph winds and they didn't take it yesterday)I just hope that I can get it taken care of before my landlady sees it AND I'm still hoping that one branch that is right over my living room doesn't snap off. I'm nervous that if it does, it'll come through the house. Hope with me that it doesn't do that!!
Off to get a few more hours of sleep!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Couple more snow pictures
These were taken around 8pm tonight. I'm a little concerned about my tree in the front yard. It's lost 4 branches now.. there's one hanging right over the roof and I'm hoping that doesn't come through the house..
Shylo the Siberian Husky and her first snow...
Had a difficult time getting her to remain still, she LOVED the snow.. 
SNOW. IN. VEGAS!!
They are saying this is the worst snow storm that Vegas has seen in 20 years. I picked the girl up from school, just a little rain around noon and went to get her school ring picked out... then I decided to take a drive to the west side where it snows much more than the east side where I live... The girl has not let me forget in just about 2 months she will be 18 and this is what happened on our little mother/daughter drive to check out the snow (before it landed on my house, which I will share in the next post)
She bitched. Like a 2 year old and I took a picture of this:
She whined. Like a 2 year old and I took a picture of this:
She yelled. Like a 2 year old and I took a picture of this:
Then she did this. Just like a 2 year old.
Figures.
And when we get home? The girl who whined about being so cold in the heated car... did this:
WITH.HER.DOG!!!!
Poor dog... My Siberian Husky is loving it though, I'll try to get some pictures of her later, I got too cold.
She bitched. Like a 2 year old and I took a picture of this:
She whined. Like a 2 year old and I took a picture of this:
She yelled. Like a 2 year old and I took a picture of this:
Then she did this. Just like a 2 year old.
Figures.
And when we get home? The girl who whined about being so cold in the heated car... did this:
WITH.HER.DOG!!!!
Poor dog... My Siberian Husky is loving it though, I'll try to get some pictures of her later, I got too cold.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
This damned blog.... and friendship.
First off, I do not like the layout of my blog. I want to change it, put some of my links on the left side, add a couple of other things, change my photo on top and some other stuff... I can't remember how to fix the picture on top (I like that picture but I want a new one). I've looked at everything, at least I think I have, to look at for editing it and still I can't figure it out and frankly, it's beginning to really piss me off (though on Twitter, I said it's beginning to bother me which was/is an understatement).
In the hopes of getting some help, I was reading a woman's blog a bit ago, who I've been reading and enjoying for a few weeks now.. I left her a comment (couldn't find an email address to email her) asking if she would email me,leaving my email address and a brief, kind of cryptic message. I feel bad for leaving it in her comments, but she has the type of layout that I would really like, so hopefully she will email me and be able to help me out.
******
Spent a few hours at my friend Deni's house today. She made me lunch and I didn't throw it up! We had turkey lettuce wraps with miracle whip, which I usually don't like, but it was good on the wrap. I'm guessing it's near the time to tighten my band since I've been able to hold more food down again. But enough about me...Deni..
Deni is 10 years older than I am. We met while at the same place singing karaoke. She approached me, which is typical where I am concerned, I don't often approach other people, in fact I can't remember the last time I approached a stranger for whatever reason.. Deni was wearing a scarf around her head. A real pretty one and she wore it well. I could never pull something like that off, but she can.
Because I'm not real nosy and because I have a tendency not to care much about other peoples business, unless I know them well (though when it comes to blogs, I seem to be the exact opposite).. I didn't ask her why she was wearing that scarf.
We saw each other a few times here and there, chit chatted, small talk stuff (and I am the WORST small talk person)we had a few things in common, tattoo's and singing, plus after getting to know her better, both of us have lived rather eclectic lives, each with our own stories to share with the other. I don't know how long I knew her before she just came out and told me that she had breast cancer and had had one breast removed. This was difficult for me, as I had recently lost my gram to cancer.
But, she was cancer free along with totally bald from the chemo (she now has a beautiful head of hair, thick and a pretty color, it has grown out past her shoulders). She was then waiting for enough time to pass so she could get "a new boob" <---her words. She cracks me up. After about a year, she got her new boob, but then something went wrong and she had to have it taken out and wait again..
Well, we talk on the phone once or more a week, but don't get to see each other as often as we'd like. 2 weeks ago she showed up at the bar and pulled me into the bathroom to show me her new boob! It looks great, though no nipple on it which was a bit odd. She is the only other woman that I know, that is like me in an exhibitionist type way - or more like.. I don't care, I'll show you mine, not like you've never seen one before type way. (I've been known to whip out a boob from time to time to show off my piercing(s) well, what used to be piercings, till one got infected and now I have only one pierced and refuse to go get the other one redone since it hurt for months and months) anyways, where was I? Oh, Deni and her new boob!
She's so proud of it and I am so happy for her. She wants to get a Phoenix tattoo coming out of the fire, right over it, but again has to wait, scar tissue and such.. So, she made us turkey wraps and we talked, uhh.. Deni talked. Deni can talk enough for 18 people! Sometimes I can get a word in sometimes not. Today I was content to just sit and listen to her.
A few hours later and it was time to pick the girl up from school. As I left, I realized Deni, no matter how much she can talk, is a loving, giving, caring woman and I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent with her, outside the bar and karaoke. My circle of real life friends is very small, they scare me if the truth be told. I give my heart out and inevitably they take it, smoosh it down, stomp on it, rip pieces of it off and then try to shove it back in my chest, usually with a knife (this holds especially true for most of the women I've let into my life) however, with Deni, I can "feel" that she wouldn't do such a thing to me, she is different - different in a way that she is like me and not like the smooshing, stomping and shoving hearts back into place, others.
It feels good to know that there are still some people who believe in loyalty, true friendship, kindness and giving more than they take. With Deni and I, we balance each other out and I hope that her and I remain friends for a very long time. Plus, I want to go back there for another turkey wrap or 3!
Tomorrow is something called "wordless Wednesday" Not sure if I can remain "speechless" but I will post a picture for this particular day of the week.
Now, to check my mail, hoping that the nice blogging lady emailed me and can help me fix the layout of my blog.. btw, if anyone is actually reading this and can help me with the layout and picture and whatever else might come to my mind, please email me at wisprnsoul@cox.net
In the hopes of getting some help, I was reading a woman's blog a bit ago, who I've been reading and enjoying for a few weeks now.. I left her a comment (couldn't find an email address to email her) asking if she would email me,leaving my email address and a brief, kind of cryptic message. I feel bad for leaving it in her comments, but she has the type of layout that I would really like, so hopefully she will email me and be able to help me out.
******
Spent a few hours at my friend Deni's house today. She made me lunch and I didn't throw it up! We had turkey lettuce wraps with miracle whip, which I usually don't like, but it was good on the wrap. I'm guessing it's near the time to tighten my band since I've been able to hold more food down again. But enough about me...Deni..
Deni is 10 years older than I am. We met while at the same place singing karaoke. She approached me, which is typical where I am concerned, I don't often approach other people, in fact I can't remember the last time I approached a stranger for whatever reason.. Deni was wearing a scarf around her head. A real pretty one and she wore it well. I could never pull something like that off, but she can.
Because I'm not real nosy and because I have a tendency not to care much about other peoples business, unless I know them well (though when it comes to blogs, I seem to be the exact opposite).. I didn't ask her why she was wearing that scarf.
We saw each other a few times here and there, chit chatted, small talk stuff (and I am the WORST small talk person)we had a few things in common, tattoo's and singing, plus after getting to know her better, both of us have lived rather eclectic lives, each with our own stories to share with the other. I don't know how long I knew her before she just came out and told me that she had breast cancer and had had one breast removed. This was difficult for me, as I had recently lost my gram to cancer.
But, she was cancer free along with totally bald from the chemo (she now has a beautiful head of hair, thick and a pretty color, it has grown out past her shoulders). She was then waiting for enough time to pass so she could get "a new boob" <---her words. She cracks me up. After about a year, she got her new boob, but then something went wrong and she had to have it taken out and wait again..
Well, we talk on the phone once or more a week, but don't get to see each other as often as we'd like. 2 weeks ago she showed up at the bar and pulled me into the bathroom to show me her new boob! It looks great, though no nipple on it which was a bit odd. She is the only other woman that I know, that is like me in an exhibitionist type way - or more like.. I don't care, I'll show you mine, not like you've never seen one before type way. (I've been known to whip out a boob from time to time to show off my piercing(s) well, what used to be piercings, till one got infected and now I have only one pierced and refuse to go get the other one redone since it hurt for months and months) anyways, where was I? Oh, Deni and her new boob!
She's so proud of it and I am so happy for her. She wants to get a Phoenix tattoo coming out of the fire, right over it, but again has to wait, scar tissue and such.. So, she made us turkey wraps and we talked, uhh.. Deni talked. Deni can talk enough for 18 people! Sometimes I can get a word in sometimes not. Today I was content to just sit and listen to her.
A few hours later and it was time to pick the girl up from school. As I left, I realized Deni, no matter how much she can talk, is a loving, giving, caring woman and I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent with her, outside the bar and karaoke. My circle of real life friends is very small, they scare me if the truth be told. I give my heart out and inevitably they take it, smoosh it down, stomp on it, rip pieces of it off and then try to shove it back in my chest, usually with a knife (this holds especially true for most of the women I've let into my life) however, with Deni, I can "feel" that she wouldn't do such a thing to me, she is different - different in a way that she is like me and not like the smooshing, stomping and shoving hearts back into place, others.
It feels good to know that there are still some people who believe in loyalty, true friendship, kindness and giving more than they take. With Deni and I, we balance each other out and I hope that her and I remain friends for a very long time. Plus, I want to go back there for another turkey wrap or 3!
Tomorrow is something called "wordless Wednesday" Not sure if I can remain "speechless" but I will post a picture for this particular day of the week.
Now, to check my mail, hoping that the nice blogging lady emailed me and can help me fix the layout of my blog.. btw, if anyone is actually reading this and can help me with the layout and picture and whatever else might come to my mind, please email me at wisprnsoul@cox.net
Wow..
I need to do some blog housekeeping.. maybe tomorrow. I really do read all the blogs on my blogroll, but only when they've been updated. Uh.. Duh. However, I've noticed that quite a few go for days and days without updating, sometimes weeks.
There are SO many that I have listed and if one day they all decided to update that day it would take me HOURS to read them all, so in one way it's good that they don't blog every day... yet there's still so many it's rather overwhelming. So, tomorrow, the bottom 10 or 15 may be removed, depending on their last blogging day. Then I can add more without feeling like I have TOO many (though I DO have too many)
And another thing.
I've become quite boring of late. I went back and looked at my other blog, the one on Live Journal and over there ----> I was far more interesting, than I am over here <---- that is going to change. I'm still going to participate in every single contest I can find (which I can't do on LJ or at least I never have, since I've never seen any)I'm still going to participate in the photo days..I enjoy those. Sharing mine and looking at other peoples wonderful pictures. But, I'm going to try to be more interesting too. Maybe I'll finally get some followers? HAHA yeah, ok.
There are SO many that I have listed and if one day they all decided to update that day it would take me HOURS to read them all, so in one way it's good that they don't blog every day... yet there's still so many it's rather overwhelming. So, tomorrow, the bottom 10 or 15 may be removed, depending on their last blogging day. Then I can add more without feeling like I have TOO many (though I DO have too many)
And another thing.
I've become quite boring of late. I went back and looked at my other blog, the one on Live Journal and over there ----> I was far more interesting, than I am over here <---- that is going to change. I'm still going to participate in every single contest I can find (which I can't do on LJ or at least I never have, since I've never seen any)I'm still going to participate in the photo days..I enjoy those. Sharing mine and looking at other peoples wonderful pictures. But, I'm going to try to be more interesting too. Maybe I'll finally get some followers? HAHA yeah, ok.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Lands End survey and contest
Want to win 100$ gift certificate to Lands End
Go to this link and take the survey and get a chance to win! You can also get another chance to win if you blog it, send an email to nzupo@bsmmedia.com and she will give you a second entry... below is the link for the survey. Good luck!! Or not, since I really want to win this myself :))
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=v1XWko6pU98QYbCX2rp9hw_3d_3d
Go to this link and take the survey and get a chance to win! You can also get another chance to win if you blog it, send an email to nzupo@bsmmedia.com and she will give you a second entry... below is the link for the survey. Good luck!! Or not, since I really want to win this myself :))
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=v1XWko6pU98QYbCX2rp9hw_3d_3d
Wrapping up my holiday
This year has been a tough year. Money wise, tougher than ever before. Between going back and forth to Arizona to visit my father who is waiting down there for a heart transplant, to paying for part of my sons wedding in August and getting my daughters stuff for graduation (if I wait till later it's more expensive)... I've no money for Christmas.
Thankfully, a few years ago someone gave me a fake tree, so this year will not go without a tree. I also purchased some presents over the summer, so the tree will not be empty underneath. My kids are fantastic, they understand that things are stressful this year and have actually said they are ok with not getting gifts at all. It's my children that have relieved me of the holiday stress.. I'm so very lucky. My father also understands that we aren't able to make the trip down to see him over the holidays, which also alleviates stress on my end. As much as I wish to see him, it simply isn't possible. What shall be, shall be.
I've also been making more candles the last few days. A great gift to give to others, handmade, handpoured soy candles. This allows me to not be concerned about what I am getting those close to me as well as how I would get the money to give presents to others. Since I already have all that I need on hand to make the candles, it's not so stressful. Plus a nice lady gave me tons of wicker and other material type baskets, so I am able to make little gift baskets and it's been fun doing so!
A couple of links to sites that are helping reduce the stress this time of year by giving a way 100$ gift certificates to Amazon. I do hope they pick me, a few books under the tree for the kids would be extra special and I can send my father a book or two to help him as he waits patiently for a heart transplant in Arizona. Wish me luck!
FFDA and Parent Bloggers
Thankfully, a few years ago someone gave me a fake tree, so this year will not go without a tree. I also purchased some presents over the summer, so the tree will not be empty underneath. My kids are fantastic, they understand that things are stressful this year and have actually said they are ok with not getting gifts at all. It's my children that have relieved me of the holiday stress.. I'm so very lucky. My father also understands that we aren't able to make the trip down to see him over the holidays, which also alleviates stress on my end. As much as I wish to see him, it simply isn't possible. What shall be, shall be.
I've also been making more candles the last few days. A great gift to give to others, handmade, handpoured soy candles. This allows me to not be concerned about what I am getting those close to me as well as how I would get the money to give presents to others. Since I already have all that I need on hand to make the candles, it's not so stressful. Plus a nice lady gave me tons of wicker and other material type baskets, so I am able to make little gift baskets and it's been fun doing so!
A couple of links to sites that are helping reduce the stress this time of year by giving a way 100$ gift certificates to Amazon. I do hope they pick me, a few books under the tree for the kids would be extra special and I can send my father a book or two to help him as he waits patiently for a heart transplant in Arizona. Wish me luck!
FFDA and Parent Bloggers
It must be Sunday
Kat over at Sunshine and Lemonade is having an awesome contest. Disney Scrapbooks! Not to be greedy, but I really want the first prize.. I had no idea where I was going to put our pictures from Disneyland a few years ago and now I know.. so you see, I have to win!!
Fiestaware contest
Yep, me here again. Entering yet another contest! This time for some really gorgeous plates (4 settings, free, who can beat that?)Ravings of a mad Housewife is giving them away and boy howdy to "I" want them!!!!!!!
Take a peek on over there and see how stunning they are!
Take a peek on over there and see how stunning they are!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Weekly photo contest
by Sarcastic Mom
My entry:
Peace
**Update** I noticed that many put where their pictures are taken. This picture was taken on Weds from my front yard. We are supposed to get snow here in Vegas, so my camera is out constantly!
My entry:
Peace
**Update** I noticed that many put where their pictures are taken. This picture was taken on Weds from my front yard. We are supposed to get snow here in Vegas, so my camera is out constantly!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Me again, trying to win...
They're having a great contest over at Kirtsy, the blog, all the prizes are great, winning any of them would be a treat. The trip to Boulder would be fun and so would winning the iPhone! But 3rd and 4th prizes aren't bad either...
I'm going to twitter this too. Are you on twitter? No? Oh, check it out, it's pretty cool.. let me know your there, so I can follow you.. Twitter (I'm listed as wisprnsoul)
I'm going to twitter this too. Are you on twitter? No? Oh, check it out, it's pretty cool.. let me know your there, so I can follow you.. Twitter (I'm listed as wisprnsoul)
Redecorating
Oh, hey! Hi, welcome back... or just welcome if this is your first time here..
I've just been redecorating a little bit, what do you think? I'll probably do some redecorating periodically... so you..err... I don't get bored.
Enjoy!
I've just been redecorating a little bit, what do you think? I'll probably do some redecorating periodically... so you..err... I don't get bored.
Enjoy!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Snow, in Vegas?
It's supposed to snow this weekend or Monday. Snow! In Vegas proper! There's snow on the mountain, Mt. Charleston.. but snow in the city? Very rare. I can't wait to see it and hope that it sticks.
I think I might take a drive by myself, up to the mountain this weekend and take a few shots for Sarcastic Mom who usually holds a weekly photo contest, though if you read her sad post today, I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't do it this week. I need a few hours alone so it won't be a wasted trip.
I'm hoping the kids will help bring out my large blow up Santa's and see if they don't have any holes (cross your fingers they don't) so I can put them up this weekend too and since I got a new metal ladder, I can probably climb it and put the lights up myself. (last year I had a wooden ladder that was not sturdy and I wouldn't climb it.. the boy of course didn't mind doing it)I'll put them up and the boy can take them down months later! When finished I'll post some pictures, either on photo Friday or on the following Sunday for Sarcastic Mom's contest. (I really want to win a couple of contests before Christmas, since I could really really use the prizes for my kids this year. I'm entering every contest that I can find!)
On Friday's I usually go out and sing karaoke, but since it's my good friend Glen's birthday tomorrow, I'm going to go out tomorrow night instead. So, tonight I'm going to curl up with my book I'm reading "The Shack" (book review when finished) and put a dent into it.
This has been a long week and Christmas is just around the corner. One more week of school, then 2 weeks off, which means I don't have to get up at 6am for 2 full weeks!! Whew, I can't wait to be able to sleep in till 8 or 9!
Plus having the kids home means lots of cleaning and organizing. Next month I am hoping to buy a shelving unit from Ikea and some storage stuff from The Container Store and organize all my candle making and jewelry making stuff. And of course after the first of the year, I'll be holding my giveaway. Sorry it's not in time for Christmas, but it'll be a late Christmas present!
Enough for tonight...
I think I might take a drive by myself, up to the mountain this weekend and take a few shots for Sarcastic Mom who usually holds a weekly photo contest, though if you read her sad post today, I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't do it this week. I need a few hours alone so it won't be a wasted trip.
I'm hoping the kids will help bring out my large blow up Santa's and see if they don't have any holes (cross your fingers they don't) so I can put them up this weekend too and since I got a new metal ladder, I can probably climb it and put the lights up myself. (last year I had a wooden ladder that was not sturdy and I wouldn't climb it.. the boy of course didn't mind doing it)I'll put them up and the boy can take them down months later! When finished I'll post some pictures, either on photo Friday or on the following Sunday for Sarcastic Mom's contest. (I really want to win a couple of contests before Christmas, since I could really really use the prizes for my kids this year. I'm entering every contest that I can find!)
On Friday's I usually go out and sing karaoke, but since it's my good friend Glen's birthday tomorrow, I'm going to go out tomorrow night instead. So, tonight I'm going to curl up with my book I'm reading "The Shack" (book review when finished) and put a dent into it.
This has been a long week and Christmas is just around the corner. One more week of school, then 2 weeks off, which means I don't have to get up at 6am for 2 full weeks!! Whew, I can't wait to be able to sleep in till 8 or 9!
Plus having the kids home means lots of cleaning and organizing. Next month I am hoping to buy a shelving unit from Ikea and some storage stuff from The Container Store and organize all my candle making and jewelry making stuff. And of course after the first of the year, I'll be holding my giveaway. Sorry it's not in time for Christmas, but it'll be a late Christmas present!
Enough for tonight...
My first, Photo Story Friday and "Phriday Photo Phiesta"
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek
This is one of my all time favorite pictures. The boy at the ocean in Del Mar, Ca having just arrived and it already getting dark, he couldn't go boogie boarding but couldn't resist taking a walk on the outskirts of the ocean. I LOVE to take pictures of the ocean when we are down there. Recently I took some photos of the sun setting over the ocean, been longer than a week, so I can't enter them in a weekly photo contest over at Sarcastic Mom, so I'll be posting them here on photo story fridays instead.
Also this qualifies for Candid Carrie's Photo Phriday Phiesta
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Did they find her?
What a horrible Christmas for the grandparents of Caylee Anthony if indeed the remains they have found today are that of little Caylee. It's horrifying that a mother could do what Casey Anthony is accused of. I couldn't imagine it. I've raised the girl and boy all alone for their entire lives, without help from others and put my life on hold, because they didn't ask to be born, they didn't ask to have no father in their lives..and I love them enough to make sacrifices, it's just what one does or so I thought..
Casey complained more than once about not being able to do anything because of her daughter, yet, her parents took care of that little girl more than she herself did. What I would've given to get a break here and there, especially when I had my nervous breakdown, when the boy was 1 and the girl was 6. Even during that period where I was left alone to raise both of them in the midst of a nervous breakdown, the thought of ever hurting either of them, never entered my mind. Hurting myself? Well, yes if I am honest..but them? Never, ever, ever.
My heart goes out to the grandparents. It's too bad they've taken the death penalty off the table for mom Casey. Poor little baby, it's almost too much to bear.
I'm pretty sure the grandparents will stand by their daughter, claiming that someone other than their daughter killed their granddaughter. Complete denial. So very sad.
Casey complained more than once about not being able to do anything because of her daughter, yet, her parents took care of that little girl more than she herself did. What I would've given to get a break here and there, especially when I had my nervous breakdown, when the boy was 1 and the girl was 6. Even during that period where I was left alone to raise both of them in the midst of a nervous breakdown, the thought of ever hurting either of them, never entered my mind. Hurting myself? Well, yes if I am honest..but them? Never, ever, ever.
My heart goes out to the grandparents. It's too bad they've taken the death penalty off the table for mom Casey. Poor little baby, it's almost too much to bear.
I'm pretty sure the grandparents will stand by their daughter, claiming that someone other than their daughter killed their granddaughter. Complete denial. So very sad.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Here's me, trying to win again...
Check out Not your average soccer mom blog for her first giveaway ever! It's a great one too. A really cute stocking filled with all sorts of goodies AND a 30$ gift certificate to Starbucks!
Visit and sign up for her contest!
Visit and sign up for her contest!
I'm trying... really I am..
But sometimes, life just gets in the way and I can't post. I want to, I really want to.... one of my favorite things to do is write.
I just can't seem to do it everyday like I would like to.
Father called this evening. He is fourth on the list for a transplant. 3 others are sicker than him. OK, that's acceptable. It's good that he isn't getting sicker. However, he needs to build up some muscle mass and he and his wife are moving. They are getting into a little apartment. He isn't comfortable living with his friend of 40 years, I guess there are some problems and if he isn't comfortable, he won't get better. I'm thinking that it's really that Steve can't stand my fathers wife, never has been a fan of hers and there's problems there... but also the apt is only 5 minutes from the hospital.
It has a workout room, so he can ride the bike and if lucky the pool will be heated, which will build muscle and have less impact... so maybe it's a good thing. I hope so. We shall see.
In other news, I'm not sure I can do the giveaway that I would like to before Christmas. I may have to wait till afterwards which bums me out, I really wanted to give for Christmas, but I don't have the extra money to ship out two candles to the two bloggers that have offered to help me, plus the shipping to the winner. I'm going to have to wait till after the holidays.. I'll just make it extra special, put a few more candles in it than planned.
In the end, everything works out as it should.
I just can't seem to do it everyday like I would like to.
Father called this evening. He is fourth on the list for a transplant. 3 others are sicker than him. OK, that's acceptable. It's good that he isn't getting sicker. However, he needs to build up some muscle mass and he and his wife are moving. They are getting into a little apartment. He isn't comfortable living with his friend of 40 years, I guess there are some problems and if he isn't comfortable, he won't get better. I'm thinking that it's really that Steve can't stand my fathers wife, never has been a fan of hers and there's problems there... but also the apt is only 5 minutes from the hospital.
It has a workout room, so he can ride the bike and if lucky the pool will be heated, which will build muscle and have less impact... so maybe it's a good thing. I hope so. We shall see.
In other news, I'm not sure I can do the giveaway that I would like to before Christmas. I may have to wait till afterwards which bums me out, I really wanted to give for Christmas, but I don't have the extra money to ship out two candles to the two bloggers that have offered to help me, plus the shipping to the winner. I'm going to have to wait till after the holidays.. I'll just make it extra special, put a few more candles in it than planned.
In the end, everything works out as it should.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Blogging, other people and give away...
So, I've been thinking tonight how really cool this blogging is actually. Sure, I've been blogging for years on Live Journal and those that read my blog there, are actually real life friends too - so what they read, they mostly already know about me..
But, this new blog.. it's funner. I love to write and really if I was the only one to read my words, I'd be fine - but more than my own writing, I get to read what's going on in other peoples lives, even to the point of semi vicariously living through their experiences. Not to mention, learning about them as I learn about me too. It's fun! And the few people that I've had one on one contact with for whatever reason, have been so nice and wonderful, I love it.
Most of the blogs I read are mom blogs, which is way cool and makes me feel like I'm so not alone. A few are dad blogs which I find very interesting. And 99% of all the blogs I read, no one holds anything back. At least that is what it looks like to me... the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly. This makes me so comfortable in an odd sort of way. Almost like, "Hey, they do it, you have permission to do it too, even though these people don't know you".. but, how do they GET to know me without my sharing it all. So, I try and write without worry, just put it ALL out there and let the chips fall where they may.
On Sunday, I hope to begin my first giveaway. With the help of two women whose blogs I have been faithfully reading for a few weeks now, I hope that it will be fun for all involved. I'm excited that they have both agreed to help me get the word out, they have a far larger readership than I do and I really want to do this give away. So, don't forget to check back on Sunday, (if it changes, there will be a notice here), follow the couple of rules I will have posted and sit back and wait to see if you are randomly picked!(The rules are so everyone can have more than one entry if they would like) You can learn a bit more about the candles at this site Lea's Lights It's a company set up website, but it's mine, though it doesn't look like it. There's also the opportunity for anyone of you to become part of the business. Email me privately at wisprnsoul@cox.net if you think that might be something you'd be interested in!
But, this new blog.. it's funner. I love to write and really if I was the only one to read my words, I'd be fine - but more than my own writing, I get to read what's going on in other peoples lives, even to the point of semi vicariously living through their experiences. Not to mention, learning about them as I learn about me too. It's fun! And the few people that I've had one on one contact with for whatever reason, have been so nice and wonderful, I love it.
Most of the blogs I read are mom blogs, which is way cool and makes me feel like I'm so not alone. A few are dad blogs which I find very interesting. And 99% of all the blogs I read, no one holds anything back. At least that is what it looks like to me... the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly. This makes me so comfortable in an odd sort of way. Almost like, "Hey, they do it, you have permission to do it too, even though these people don't know you".. but, how do they GET to know me without my sharing it all. So, I try and write without worry, just put it ALL out there and let the chips fall where they may.
On Sunday, I hope to begin my first giveaway. With the help of two women whose blogs I have been faithfully reading for a few weeks now, I hope that it will be fun for all involved. I'm excited that they have both agreed to help me get the word out, they have a far larger readership than I do and I really want to do this give away. So, don't forget to check back on Sunday, (if it changes, there will be a notice here), follow the couple of rules I will have posted and sit back and wait to see if you are randomly picked!(The rules are so everyone can have more than one entry if they would like) You can learn a bit more about the candles at this site Lea's Lights It's a company set up website, but it's mine, though it doesn't look like it. There's also the opportunity for anyone of you to become part of the business. Email me privately at wisprnsoul@cox.net if you think that might be something you'd be interested in!
Ugly Dolls...
Yes, they are actually called that. Check them out at Ugly Dolls My daughter told me about them a while ago and of course she wanted one..
I ordered her two for 19.95$ a while ago and am still waiting for them to come. With my money trouble this month, I'm glad she told me about them months ago when I had some money to order her one, but I got a good deal, two for the price of one.
They really ARE ugly!
I ordered her two for 19.95$ a while ago and am still waiting for them to come. With my money trouble this month, I'm glad she told me about them months ago when I had some money to order her one, but I got a good deal, two for the price of one.
They really ARE ugly!
This blog and some random information/thoughts
This blog is a work in progress. It's the first time I've used a blogger like this, having about 4 years of blogging archived over at Live Journal, where you can't do most of what you can here. I'd really like to redecorate around here, but not sure how to make it pretty... so I suppose I'll keep it blue, since that's my favorite color and spice it up here and there with pictures...
******
This month financially is the worst month, usually is every year. This year has been worse though, with me and the kids going down to Az on an average of about every 2 weeks, I can't afford Christmas, nor will we be going to Az for it either. Times are difficult, more so this year because of Dad's illness.
At some time, in the 5 years we have lived in this house, I was given a fake tree. A very large one really. I've never used it, since usually I have enough money to buy a tree and presents. Though I do wait till Christmas Eve for the tree, getting a small discount on it. This year, well things are very different for us. With no money even to buy special food for Christmas day, I am going to put up the fake tree. The kids don't mind, they are old enough to understand and thankfully I had bought some presents over the summer, so it won't be empty under the tree. I'm going to "try" to go to the dollar store and get some things for their stockings, but again, they are old enough this year to understand the hardship we are dealing with right now.(one of the reasons I've been joining different contests, is to hopefully win and be able to have another Christmas present for one of the kids)
I have multi-colored ornaments, but I usually like to put up my white and blue ornaments with my peace dove paper ornaments I made one year. It makes the tree look so pretty and carries the theme of my life every year, all year round.. Peace on Earth. However, I think this year I might put up the colorful balls and go all out...I can put my doves on the mantle. Too bad I don't have room in the living room to put down one of the trains, but I might break out the little houses this year. We may not be able to afford Christmas, but I can still make it look like Christmas here.. Now, if someone would be so kind as to send snow to Vegas for Christmas, all would be really right in my world..
I put a note out to our local Free Cycle list (if you don't know about freecycle, it's really cool. Instead of throwing things out, people recycle them by offering them to others who may need or want whatever it is)I put out a note Wanted: Baskets. Quite a few people have different types of baskets they are going to give to me! I plan on doing a giveaway next week. A basket with some candles that I've made (plus I am going to make a few Christmas presents with baskets and candles). This is for a few reasons. One, I feel like giving something away (and not just presents to friends and family) and two, I'm hoping whoever wins it will love the candles and plug them on their blog, helping me to drum up some business. Being a single mother on disability is tough and this is a new business I am trying to get started. There will of course be a few rules, but ultimately the winner will be picked out randomly by the girl or the boy. Stay tuned for that.. should be the beginning of next week.
I've really enjoyed branching out on my blog reading. For so long I only read those on Live Journal, until I found Dooce and then went from there, reading a blog she would plug and then finding more and more. I read every blog on my blogroll and enjoy them a lot and each day I find at least one new blog to read. I also found Etsy on Dooce's site and have made a few really cool purchases from there. I hope to open up my own store, for the candles, after Christmas when I can make a bunch of candles so I have an inventory.
So, a few things happening over here in my world. I'm hoping to stretch out what little money I have for the month and make it last till the end of the month. One good thing, gas prices have gone down and it doesn't take much to fill up my Jeep. Every little bit helps!
Peace.
******
This month financially is the worst month, usually is every year. This year has been worse though, with me and the kids going down to Az on an average of about every 2 weeks, I can't afford Christmas, nor will we be going to Az for it either. Times are difficult, more so this year because of Dad's illness.
At some time, in the 5 years we have lived in this house, I was given a fake tree. A very large one really. I've never used it, since usually I have enough money to buy a tree and presents. Though I do wait till Christmas Eve for the tree, getting a small discount on it. This year, well things are very different for us. With no money even to buy special food for Christmas day, I am going to put up the fake tree. The kids don't mind, they are old enough to understand and thankfully I had bought some presents over the summer, so it won't be empty under the tree. I'm going to "try" to go to the dollar store and get some things for their stockings, but again, they are old enough this year to understand the hardship we are dealing with right now.(one of the reasons I've been joining different contests, is to hopefully win and be able to have another Christmas present for one of the kids)
I have multi-colored ornaments, but I usually like to put up my white and blue ornaments with my peace dove paper ornaments I made one year. It makes the tree look so pretty and carries the theme of my life every year, all year round.. Peace on Earth. However, I think this year I might put up the colorful balls and go all out...I can put my doves on the mantle. Too bad I don't have room in the living room to put down one of the trains, but I might break out the little houses this year. We may not be able to afford Christmas, but I can still make it look like Christmas here.. Now, if someone would be so kind as to send snow to Vegas for Christmas, all would be really right in my world..
I put a note out to our local Free Cycle list (if you don't know about freecycle, it's really cool. Instead of throwing things out, people recycle them by offering them to others who may need or want whatever it is)I put out a note Wanted: Baskets. Quite a few people have different types of baskets they are going to give to me! I plan on doing a giveaway next week. A basket with some candles that I've made (plus I am going to make a few Christmas presents with baskets and candles). This is for a few reasons. One, I feel like giving something away (and not just presents to friends and family) and two, I'm hoping whoever wins it will love the candles and plug them on their blog, helping me to drum up some business. Being a single mother on disability is tough and this is a new business I am trying to get started. There will of course be a few rules, but ultimately the winner will be picked out randomly by the girl or the boy. Stay tuned for that.. should be the beginning of next week.
I've really enjoyed branching out on my blog reading. For so long I only read those on Live Journal, until I found Dooce and then went from there, reading a blog she would plug and then finding more and more. I read every blog on my blogroll and enjoy them a lot and each day I find at least one new blog to read. I also found Etsy on Dooce's site and have made a few really cool purchases from there. I hope to open up my own store, for the candles, after Christmas when I can make a bunch of candles so I have an inventory.
So, a few things happening over here in my world. I'm hoping to stretch out what little money I have for the month and make it last till the end of the month. One good thing, gas prices have gone down and it doesn't take much to fill up my Jeep. Every little bit helps!
Peace.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Go and visit..
Momma Needs a Time Out, she's having a great Christmas giveaway contest going on right now! It's over on Tuesday, so get there as soon as you can!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Send a card to a recovering solider...
***UPDATE*** I checked with SNOPES and the below information is false. However, the redcross is doing something with cards and letters, and it is legitimate. Also, please see my comments as a reader has sent a great link that is being sponsored by Xerox.
I read this on another blog and felt it was important enough to share on my blog.
Send a Christmas card to a recovering solider. I hope to send more than one, but here is the address and others of course will do as they wish..
A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue,NW
Washington,D.C. 20307-5001
I think it's a wonderful thing to do at this time of year, however, after thinking about it further, I am going to see if I can send a get well card or cards each month to those who have been injured fighting for our freedoms. While I do not support the war, I do very much support our soldier's and feel it's important to remember them all year round, not just at Christmas time.
Please leave me a comment if you are sending a Christmas card to the soldiers and if you might be inclined to send a get well card each month... I might just give away a couple of candles.
I read this on another blog and felt it was important enough to share on my blog.
Send a Christmas card to a recovering solider. I hope to send more than one, but here is the address and others of course will do as they wish..
A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue,NW
Washington,D.C. 20307-5001
I think it's a wonderful thing to do at this time of year, however, after thinking about it further, I am going to see if I can send a get well card or cards each month to those who have been injured fighting for our freedoms. While I do not support the war, I do very much support our soldier's and feel it's important to remember them all year round, not just at Christmas time.
Please leave me a comment if you are sending a Christmas card to the soldiers and if you might be inclined to send a get well card each month... I might just give away a couple of candles.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
You may or may not understand this...
My grandfather passed when I was 7. When I was 9 my grandmother met a man, much younger than her and had a relationship with him for 35 years, till she passed from cancer in 2005.
My grandmother owned a million dollar condo, in Marina Del Rey, overlooking the Marina Bay. My grandfather left her a tighty sum of money, in which she invested very well and did very well for her self. Her partner, was a bit snarky, but he was the only other grandfather I knew and the only grandfather my strung out sister ever knew.
My grandmother made a will. Leaving the condo to my father and uncle, which by all rights belonged to them, as she is the one who bought it and paid the bills. In March of 2005 (she passed in Oct 2005)somehow, her partner got her to sign it over to him. In the original will, he had the right to live there for 6 months, free of charge and should he want to stay longer, he was to pay the mortgage and bills. But, the condo belonged to my father and uncle. Not anymore.
No one in the family will talk to him, but me. Why do I speak with him on a semi regular basis? Because the items, while not really worth anything monetary, in said condo, are items I grew up with, are items that were my grandfathers, before he passed. My grandfather and I were very very close.
Her partner told me that he would be leaving the condo to me and my cousin. (My sister was caught stealing pain meds from gram as she was dying and he refuses to leave anything to her).... now why am I writing this? I'm pissed beyond belief.
I called him for Thanksgiving and found out that he moved out of the condo, is renting it and.. AND is going to sell it. I'm flamed. His mothers husband just died and he stands to inherit 32 million dollars when his mother dies. He is in Florida now...
I asked about the items in the condo and he said they were all boxed up and in storage in Florida. He said, when he dies, they will all come to me and I get to disperse them to the family. I don't believe him. These are items that I grew up with, they are very important to me... and I asked him if would send me some of the stuff now, he refused. "You'll get it when I die"
For some reason (gee, I wonder why)I don't believe him. IF he leaves that stuff to his sister, I am going to hire a lawyer and see what I can do.. it was never his stuff, it belongs to my family..
I'm pissed...
My grandmother owned a million dollar condo, in Marina Del Rey, overlooking the Marina Bay. My grandfather left her a tighty sum of money, in which she invested very well and did very well for her self. Her partner, was a bit snarky, but he was the only other grandfather I knew and the only grandfather my strung out sister ever knew.
My grandmother made a will. Leaving the condo to my father and uncle, which by all rights belonged to them, as she is the one who bought it and paid the bills. In March of 2005 (she passed in Oct 2005)somehow, her partner got her to sign it over to him. In the original will, he had the right to live there for 6 months, free of charge and should he want to stay longer, he was to pay the mortgage and bills. But, the condo belonged to my father and uncle. Not anymore.
No one in the family will talk to him, but me. Why do I speak with him on a semi regular basis? Because the items, while not really worth anything monetary, in said condo, are items I grew up with, are items that were my grandfathers, before he passed. My grandfather and I were very very close.
Her partner told me that he would be leaving the condo to me and my cousin. (My sister was caught stealing pain meds from gram as she was dying and he refuses to leave anything to her).... now why am I writing this? I'm pissed beyond belief.
I called him for Thanksgiving and found out that he moved out of the condo, is renting it and.. AND is going to sell it. I'm flamed. His mothers husband just died and he stands to inherit 32 million dollars when his mother dies. He is in Florida now...
I asked about the items in the condo and he said they were all boxed up and in storage in Florida. He said, when he dies, they will all come to me and I get to disperse them to the family. I don't believe him. These are items that I grew up with, they are very important to me... and I asked him if would send me some of the stuff now, he refused. "You'll get it when I die"
For some reason (gee, I wonder why)I don't believe him. IF he leaves that stuff to his sister, I am going to hire a lawyer and see what I can do.. it was never his stuff, it belongs to my family..
I'm pissed...
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