Thursday, October 30, 2008

Almost done, well, kind of

I've almost finished the front half of the house. I've scrubbed, bitched, scrubbed and bitched for the last 3 days. I scrubbed my kitchen floor by hand, bitched, scrubbed the outside of the fridge and stove, bitched, polished the wood in both the dining room and kitchen, bitched...

What I haven't finished in the dining room area is the dogs crates. They've torn apart their pillows and there is foam inside the crate and the immediate outside of the crates. I'm still hiding my Jeep in the garage and not answering the door. Tomorrow, I plan on doing the crates and getting my room dusted and the papers I have everywhere filed or thrown out.. Tomorrow is a holiday here in Vegas.. Nevada Day. No school, no mail and no inspection! I can get it all hammered out by tomorrow..

Now the challenge is to keep it clean. Vacuum everyday, dust once a week, pick up the crap that the boy leaves lying around. I've decided cleaning is an every day thing if I want my house clean.

Oh and why the bitching? 1)The boy leaves trash and things lying around everywhere (I even found empty soda bottles in the fireplace) 2)The dust here is horrible and makes me sneeze 3)I.HATE.CLEANING

But, as I said, the worst part of it is almost over, finally.

Now, if only I can get some orders for candles, then maybe I can start making money.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I finally broke down...

And bought myself a pair of these Crocs

They are a step up from the flip flops that I wear year round. I read their descriptions and according to the website, these shoes are good for those who have back and feet problems.

I can't wait to get them and see. If I like them, I might even splurge and get these Mammoth have to really think on these though, since I'm not sure it gets cold enough here in Vegas to splurge on them... but I like them a lot.

Still trying to clean the house up completely.. a daunting task but nevertheless getting it done. Tomorrow morning after I take the girl to school, I'm going to go to Wal-Mart and get a new vacuum since mine isn't working to well, plus my friend Glen told me of these things you put in your air vent and it makes the whole house smell good, so I'm going to look for those too.

My life has become worse than boring.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Housing inspection today...

I passed, but he warned me that there will be a surprise inspection (he thinks because of the elections, but that doesn't make sense to me) my house is one picked randomly, OF COURSE. If it's at all dirty, they will remove me from the program.

Shit. Anyone who knows me, knows I am the crappiest housekeeper in the world. Tomorrow and until I am finished, I am hiding my jeep in the garage and not answering the door. Then I begin the complete overhaul of the house. Dusting, vacuuming, washing walls and other things. He said it could come as early as tomorrow and as late as the end of the month of Nov.

It has me pretty freaked out. If I lose my housing assistance, I'm screwed all the way around. I can't afford to pay the full amount of rent here or really any 3 bedroom place. I have to have a 3 bedroom, as the kids can't share a room, though I suppose if it comes down to it, I can share one with the girl... still she's nearly 18 years old and I'm sure she doesn't want to share a room with me... yet I can't get her off her ass either to help with the house. The boy either. They don't understand the consequences of what happens should I be removed from housing assistance, no matter how much I explain it to them.

I'm really hoping that I can get the house overhauled before they come. I'm very motivated to get it cleaned and keep it very clean right now. Not to mention, I like to have a clean house, I just suck at cleaning. I plan on going to bed early tonight and staying awake after I take the girl to school at 6am. At least long enough to get the living room straightened out.

Wish me luck.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

A Trip to the Strip..

I've managed, happily with no regrets, to avoid the Strip, otherwise known as "Las Vegas Blvd".. Did I say, HAPPILY AVOIDED?

Until tonight. The boy turns 13 tomorrow and all he wanted to do was go to a nice dinner with a friend and drive down the Strip, twice. TWICE!!!!!!! The lights and the parking lot traffic make my head hurt, not to mention two boys being loud and obnoxious in the backseat. We couldn't just drive down one time, we had to go TWICE. (we did have a nice dinner though)

And if that's not bad enough, the cops on the Strip, ride bicycles. BICYCLES! Can you imagine, watching the news and the helicopter is flying in the air, with that big spolight pointed at the street and you hear the anchorperson say.....

"We are watching a high speed pursuit on bicycles" FREAKING BICYCLES. If that isn't bad enough, they don't pull you over to the side of the road. No, they pull you over in whatever lane you happen to be in. One cop in front of your car, one in back and the other at your window. No, I didn't get pulled over, but others did, going both ways. And somehow you have to find your way around them without looking like an idiot, while screaming WTF are you people doing??? With two boys finding it about the funniest thing they have ever saw.

Did I say, HAPPILY AVOIDED? Yeah, there's a reason for that other than it makes my brain hurt. I hate the Las Vegas Strip. I've always hated it. I think it's garish, boring and more of a hassle than it is worth.

But the boy, that's really all he wanted for his birthday, well that and ANOTHER skateboard. (he snaps skateboards in half within less than a week of having them, the one I got him this time is the last one, any others, he will have to work hard for). How could I not taken him down there for his birthday when he didn't really want anything else.

So, twice, we drove down the Strip. Three times we changed lanes, thanks to cops on bikes. My head hurt and there was so much noise coming from the backseat, I haven't a clue what was going on back there. It exhausted me, but the boy, he enjoyed it (as did his friend), so it was worth it, this one time.

I will now go back to happily avoiding the Strip. Maybe I'll get lucky and not have to see the bright lights and the parking lot traffic for another 6 years. Ahh, what a relief that would be.

Life, in whatever lane the bicycle cops aren't in.

Friday, October 24, 2008

I figured it out...

If I watch only Encore movies, or DVD's for the remainder of the time till the elections, DVR (like TIVO) all the shows I really enjoy watching, I can fast forward through ALL. THOSE. DAMNED. POLITICAL. COMMERCIALS!

DUDE, I'm a genius! And re-reading the above, I apparently have no life.

I guess that's what happens to those of us that are geniuses.

More mindless TV...

"Paris Hiltons, My new BFF" heh..

She has a reality type, game show type, program on MTV, to find her next BFF! WTF? Why can't I have a reality type, game show type, program to find a BFF? Not that I'd trust the winner, cause really for the most part, people just want that 15 minutes of fame and that's what they are getting on this stupid show.

Yet, I can't help but watch it, almost mesmerized by this ridiculous notion that one can find their next best friend forever on a TV reality type, game show type, program. So, what happens after she finds her BFF, does that mean there's no season two? And what happens if this new BFF has just been lying and acting differently than they normally would, just so they can become her next BFF. Is she THAT gullible? Is she THAT desperate that she has to have a TV show to find her next BFF? I gather the answer to that is, uhh.... yes.

I have no clue what she was thinking when she agreed to do this show. Or better yet, what the hell were the people who "thought up" this show were thinking? That it would bring in good ratings? Well, duh, yeah if there are millions of people like me who get lost in mindless TV.. hmm... maybe there is, though no one has ever commented on my posts about mindless TV, honestly making me feel like I am the only one who does this.

Sometimes, I just need to lose myself in crap that makes no sense and doesn't make my brain cells expand and attempt to explode. How can I be alone in this perverse thinking of actually not thinking.


Thursday, October 23, 2008

I wish I could...

Run for Vice President. I'd love to go on a 150,000$ shopping spree, though I wouldn't go to Nieman Marcus or Sax Fifth Ave. I'd probably go to Wal-Mart, Burlington Coat Factory and Target and I'd have more clothes than needed for the last 11 days of this campaign.

Is anyone keeping tabs on how many suits she actually bought? You know, for when it's time to give them to charity? *gag*

The teenage boy....

On Sunday, my baby turns 13. A teenager. A rite of passage. Almost a man, but not quite (even though his voice changed sometime over the past year and sounds like a man)... A 13 year old boy.

Totally, completely, thoroughly unlike a teenage girl. But, I already knew that, because he has always been different than the girl.

I don't know how to do this. A teenage boy? Forget about the hormones raging amok. I don't know how to raise a teenage boy. My daughter tells me all the time... "When I was his age (whatever age that might be at any given time) you didn't let me do "that" " (whatever "that" was at any given moment).

My pathetic answer? "He's a boy" Her replies, "So what" or "That shouldn't matter" or even "That's sexist". Heh. I suppose it is sexist, it's also a double standard, one I really don't want to teach my kids, I'd rather teach them equality. Yet, it almost seems impossible in this situation.

I try and explain that things are different today (at any given moment) then when she was his age (whatever age that may be at the time). She calls my bluff every time, to a certain degree.

As I try to teach her to be a strong independent woman, to not rely on anyone but herself, that she can do anything she puts her mind to, anything that any man can do, she can do (certainly we both know there are a few things men can do that she can't do, but I'm not talking about those things)... I'm also inadvertently teaching her that because her brother is a boy, he gets to do more than what she got to do when she was his age. I don't know how "not" to do this. And she is right, "So what if he is a boy, I didn't get to do those things when I was his age".

But honestly, it "is" different. At least it seems to be different here, but this could be because I am ignorant to the ways of a teenage boy. I can only go by what I remember seeing how teenage boys acted, unlike knowing from experience, how a teenage girl may act, even though my daughter is nothing like I was at her age now and even when she was younger. That's mostly due to the fact that I raised her (and him) differently than how I was raised.

With both of them now, I have entered uncharted waters. She, at nearly 18, is far more trustworthy, honest, conscientious, sheltered, less street smart and other things, than when I was her age. I'd already been working full time for years, already had my own place to live, paid all my bills on my own, dropped out of high school and at 18, moved to Hawaii for a year. He, at nearly 13, is still a year away from when I began working, having sex, falling in love for the first time (something neither has had happen to, as of yet). She is far more level headed than I was, he is far more street smart than she was.

Not to sound to redundant...

I don't know how to raise a boy, for the most part. I have tried to teach him to respect women, all women, including his sister and mother. I don't know yet if I have failed or not. I've tried to teach him right from wrong and often times I think I have failed with that. I've tried to teach him that I will get more angry if he lies, than if he screws up and tells me the truth about that screw up. Not much different than what I have taught her, but it "feels" different.

There are things, that only a father can teach a son. I've tried to cross that barrier, since there isn't a father in the picture, there really isn't any type of male role model, other than my father, yet he has characteristics I don't want my son to have, not to mention he isn't around now AND he has always treated both kids differently. He is partial to girls. He never raised a boy either, well that's not entirely true, he helped raise my stepbrother, but my stepbrothers father was in the picture and wouldn't allow my father (much like my father wouldn't allow my stepfather) to discipline him and other things I don't need to go into here... so he's really not that much of a male role model.

Perhaps, if I just focus on teaching him right from wrong and the other things I mentioned, it will all fall into place. However, because he "is" a boy, he does get to do things at his age that my daughter didn't get to do. It just happens. So, how do I explain it to my daughter without sounding like I am sexist or making her feel like she is less than, just because she is female.

I don't know. I guess I need to just take it as it comes and try and remind her that she isn't less than just because she is female and just see what happens. Blah.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Political commercials...

I am being bombarded on a state and national level of campaign commercial ads and I've quickly tired of it. I've not seen ONE positive commercial, all negative. Perhaps, I wouldn't be so turned off by it all if instead of trying to one up the other candidate (regardless if it's for the presidency, senator or whatever it is) they speak about the issues and how they will solve the economic problem (for lack of a better word) we are having. How will they help all those who are losing their homes to foreclosures, or how they will solve our healthcare crisis and what about taxes, who's taxes are they really going to raise and who will really get tax cuts and who will it really affect? Me, you? Everyone and anyone?

I'm pretty sure tax hikes for anyone won't affect me, being that I am on disability, but that brings up the question... will my benefits be affected? Will I have to pay more money for insurance for the kids as well as my monthly copayments for medicare? What about the housing situation, specifically mine since, well, this is of course all about me, will my rent increase? Actually, I sort of, kind of, know that answer. If my income is lowered, my rent will decrease. Yet still I can't help but be concerned about that. One year, out of the blue, housing assitance went down and my rent went up, far more than I could afford. Thankfully, I have a landlady who likes me and really doesn't want to have a vacant home, she allowed me to pay what I seemingly could afford (which, while it was lower than I was supposed to pay, it was more than I was used to paying and for that one year I couldn't keep up with any bills and 2 years later I am still trying to play catch up).

And because honestly, it truly isn't all about me, I worry about what may happen to my fathers home. They are making payments on a home that they don't even know when they will be able to return to AND they are looking for a small apartment in Scottsdale, Az. so they don't have to continue to live with his best friend (why they are doing that is beyond me, since they get to live there for free, but perhaps they know something I don't). So, they'll be making payments in rent and mortgage. How a dying man and a woman without a job can do that, befuddles me, though I guess if they "couldn't" do it, they would stay where they are and not have to do that. It's really not my business though, (nor is the fact that they were given enough money from my gram to pay off their mortgage any of my business, yet I still wonder what they were and now are, thinking).... And I also have to remember that my children, thanks to gram, have trust funds that are all in stocks and if the stock market doesn't turn around, they will have nothing when they turn 21. I pay taxes on those trust funds each year (which usually comes out of their funds), will any of this, aside from the stock markets wobbly future, effect them in the long run? Probably....

I still wish that if I must be bombarded with political campaign commercials that they, all of them, statewide as well as Obama and McCain would address the issues, rather than work so very hard at bringing down their opponents. It just seems to be a waste of money, time and brain power. It has that one small political brain cell of mine working overtime trying to come to understand far too many things for it to ever comprehend, before it explodes. Though I will say this, I know who I will be voting for... partly in memory of my beloved grandmother, who would be gleefully participating in this campaign, for this particular presidential candidate (I'm not voting on a state level since I have no clear idea about any of those running, other than the negative crap of all, I keep seeing on TV) and partly because the one I vote for is simply, in that one political brain cell that exists in me, the lessor of two evils.

Yeah, That one.

What I don't understand...

Perhaps, someone can explain it to me.

Why do we vote on a state level for Supreme Court Justices, yet the President picks them on a national level.

Why do we not vote on a national level for Supreme Court Justices?

I probably learned this in jr. high school, but that was many years ago... anyone up to explaining it to me?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


As some may know..I have recently started my own business. Making and selling all natural soy candles. Due to my fathers illness and the kids and I traveling back and forth to Phx, plus trying to get the house in order for inspection, I haven't been able to make any lately. I filled the one order for 3o votive candles and sent those off last week. The lady is enjoying them and even commented on how nicely I packaged them up for her. I'm really hoping she'll be a repeat customer, even though making votive candles is a pain in the ass. I prefer making the container ones (5oz, 8oz and 9oz) plus some tealights which I'm thinking about using as samples eventually. My prices vary, but I've been doing some research on eBay and Etsy so my prices will be competitive, actually below the competition as best that I can. Which also means my one customer will be getting a better price on her votives should she choose to order more from me.

I don't seem to be all that good at marketing them, though that may be because I really haven't had the chance to breath the last month or so. I'm thinking about maybe sending samples to some of the women bloggers that I read on a consistent basis. Some have address's, some don't. The reason I am thinking about doing this, is in the hope that they will enjoy the scents and the way all natural soy candles burn (without that black soot and mostly all of the candle burns instead of leaving behind wax that won't burn any longer) and give me a plug on their blogs.

For those that don't have address's (snail mail, not email) do you think I should ask them for their address's explaining why I would like a mailing address? Or just stick with the ones who have an address listed? Do you think this may be a good way to help my business out?

I'm really at a loss on how to market these candles... any and all suggestions will be considered! Please.

To find out more about the candles I am making, please visitLea's Lights, all natural soy candles and if you would like a couple of tealight samples, please send me your name, home address and scents you typically enjoy. It may be 2 weeks or so before I can send them out, but I will.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Pet Peeve

Do people not read the things they write, before they post them on their blogs? I've been reading some blogs on Blogger and there are so many misspelled words, words left out of sentences, words like "is" being used as "if" and visa versa.

I don't know why it bothers me so much, maybe because I try really hard for my journal to be readable, caring that people reading this need not have to try and figure out what that word was supposed to be, or what the sentence actually means.

I'm not perfect, but I make the effort...

Wish more would do the same. It's not that difficult to recheck what you have written.

Testing, 1....2...anda 3

Just testing, my first entry using this blog program. Must remember to send link on old blogger to this new blogger...

Sometimes, I make sense. Most times I don't. Don't hold that against me, please.