This damned blog.... and friendship.

First off, I do not like the layout of my blog. I want to change it, put some of my links on the left side, add a couple of other things, change my photo on top and some other stuff... I can't remember how to fix the picture on top (I like that picture but I want a new one). I've looked at everything, at least I think I have, to look at for editing it and still I can't figure it out and frankly, it's beginning to really piss me off (though on Twitter, I said it's beginning to bother me which was/is an understatement).

In the hopes of getting some help, I was reading a woman's blog a bit ago, who I've been reading and enjoying for a few weeks now.. I left her a comment (couldn't find an email address to email her) asking if she would email me,leaving my email address and a brief, kind of cryptic message. I feel bad for leaving it in her comments, but she has the type of layout that I would really like, so hopefully she will email me and be able to help me out.
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Spent a few hours at my friend Deni's house today. She made me lunch and I didn't throw it up! We had turkey lettuce wraps with miracle whip, which I usually don't like, but it was good on the wrap. I'm guessing it's near the time to tighten my band since I've been able to hold more food down again. But enough about me...Deni..

Deni is 10 years older than I am. We met while at the same place singing karaoke. She approached me, which is typical where I am concerned, I don't often approach other people, in fact I can't remember the last time I approached a stranger for whatever reason.. Deni was wearing a scarf around her head. A real pretty one and she wore it well. I could never pull something like that off, but she can.

Because I'm not real nosy and because I have a tendency not to care much about other peoples business, unless I know them well (though when it comes to blogs, I seem to be the exact opposite).. I didn't ask her why she was wearing that scarf.

We saw each other a few times here and there, chit chatted, small talk stuff (and I am the WORST small talk person)we had a few things in common, tattoo's and singing, plus after getting to know her better, both of us have lived rather eclectic lives, each with our own stories to share with the other. I don't know how long I knew her before she just came out and told me that she had breast cancer and had had one breast removed. This was difficult for me, as I had recently lost my gram to cancer.

But, she was cancer free along with totally bald from the chemo (she now has a beautiful head of hair, thick and a pretty color, it has grown out past her shoulders). She was then waiting for enough time to pass so she could get "a new boob" <---her words. She cracks me up. After about a year, she got her new boob, but then something went wrong and she had to have it taken out and wait again..

Well, we talk on the phone once or more a week, but don't get to see each other as often as we'd like. 2 weeks ago she showed up at the bar and pulled me into the bathroom to show me her new boob! It looks great, though no nipple on it which was a bit odd. She is the only other woman that I know, that is like me in an exhibitionist type way - or more like.. I don't care, I'll show you mine, not like you've never seen one before type way. (I've been known to whip out a boob from time to time to show off my piercing(s) well, what used to be piercings, till one got infected and now I have only one pierced and refuse to go get the other one redone since it hurt for months and months) anyways, where was I? Oh, Deni and her new boob!

She's so proud of it and I am so happy for her. She wants to get a Phoenix tattoo coming out of the fire, right over it, but again has to wait, scar tissue and such.. So, she made us turkey wraps and we talked, uhh.. Deni talked. Deni can talk enough for 18 people! Sometimes I can get a word in sometimes not. Today I was content to just sit and listen to her.

A few hours later and it was time to pick the girl up from school. As I left, I realized Deni, no matter how much she can talk, is a loving, giving, caring woman and I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent with her, outside the bar and karaoke. My circle of real life friends is very small, they scare me if the truth be told. I give my heart out and inevitably they take it, smoosh it down, stomp on it, rip pieces of it off and then try to shove it back in my chest, usually with a knife (this holds especially true for most of the women I've let into my life) however, with Deni, I can "feel" that she wouldn't do such a thing to me, she is different - different in a way that she is like me and not like the smooshing, stomping and shoving hearts back into place, others.

It feels good to know that there are still some people who believe in loyalty, true friendship, kindness and giving more than they take. With Deni and I, we balance each other out and I hope that her and I remain friends for a very long time. Plus, I want to go back there for another turkey wrap or 3!

Tomorrow is something called "wordless Wednesday" Not sure if I can remain "speechless" but I will post a picture for this particular day of the week.

Now, to check my mail, hoping that the nice blogging lady emailed me and can help me fix the layout of my blog.. btw, if anyone is actually reading this and can help me with the layout and picture and whatever else might come to my mind, please email me at wisprnsoul@cox.net