Sunday, December 6, 2009

2010

He said he wants to marry me in 2010.

I said yes.

I love this man, I never thought I would love another man in my life. I adore him, he is so good to me, treats me like a queen.

Chance said: "Mom, I'd like to have him for a stepdad, that would be cool."

Tessa said: "I want to be your maid of honor."

I'm so blessed.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Sunday, November 29, 2009

More of Nova and her Nana....

My little angel.
Such fat cheeks, I got to nibble on them!
Ugh, my face is way to thin.. but that didn't keep me from smiling while my angel was in my arms!


Thursday, November 26, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

He said...

"I love you" - "You are my future"

Today marks 2 weeks we've been together.

Do I love him? I know I want to be with him all the time, that I think about him constantly, I miss him when we aren't together... my stomach gets those butterfly feelings when I think of him.

He told me he loved me after a week being together. I asked him how did he know and when. "I just knew. I woke up Tuesday morning with you laying in bed next to me and watched you sleeping and I knew"

It's a bit of a worldwind relationship but something continues to draw me to him and need him. This past week I had the flu pretty bad and he took care of me and ended up with the flu himself on Thursday but would not let me take care of him. He says he doesn't like to be fussed over especially when he is sick and I told him if I was his future than he best get use to being fussed over sick or not!

We are both still adjusting, both of us having really been alone for a long time, him longer than myself however it's still an adjustment for me but for me he's worth making some changes in my lifestyle and I think I am the same for him.

We shall see where this goes I guess.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Today Nova is a month old, a new guy and a new size...

I intend on writing something each month to keep up to date what's going on around her and what is going on with her as well. Eventually everything will be printed out as I plan on making a scrapbook for her, but for now you'll be able to find more pictures and various Nova stuff at Nova Leone


As for what is going on with me well..

I met someone the other day and we've hit it off fairly well. He's 9 years older than me (and everyone calls me a cougar, meh) his hair is down to his waist, no tattoos and he rides. He calls me all the time and appears to really like me. I've been going to his house every night but no sex yet at my request and he is fine with that. Lots of cuddling and kissing though! Tomorrow night I plan on spending the night - still no sex though - I want to see if I can do this differently than the past and see what comes of it. I did ask him if he would like to join me and my crazy family for Thanksgiving where he would meet my father, stepmother, sister, aunt, all three of my kids, my daughter in law, my granddaughter and a few other stragglers that may join us. He said that he had plans - the owner of the place he lives in is a real good friend of his and he was invited to their place - but he also said wow, usually I have no place to go now I have a choice. I kind of hope he chooses me, but I understand if he doesn't and won't be hurt since he did have those other plans first.

He's very nice, though he's also crude and brash. A gentleman for the most part at least when dealing with me. I'm the first woman he's "been" with in 3 years. He also doesn't like fat women but when I ask him then why is he with me, he says "Can't help who I'm attracted to". I met him at the bar I sing karaoke at.. he did tell me that a few months ago he was in there and was drunk and kissing some fat girl and said to himself "what am I doing" and just left. He's not a small man, not much taller than me with his own belly on him but I like men like that. Calls me his honey, his little girl, his baby - which is sweet.

I asked on facebook the other day and will ask the same thing here.. "Do you believe in love at first site? CAN it happen and does it work. My experience is yes it can happen and did once and no it doesn't work out... But someone else doesn't agree and I'm not sure I'm so ready to even let that in. I'm certainly not much of a romantic." Not because "I" did, but he's alluded to love already so I was curious what others think, have experienced etc. My daughter says yes it can happen and just because it didn't work for me that one time (her father was the one I fell in love with at first site) doesn't mean it can't work for me again.

There's a few things though that have me concerned. We both are rather set in our ways. I "think" we are mature enough to possibly adjust to certain things in each others lives - but that still remains to be seen. I suppose if someone means enough to you there are certain things you are likely to let go of or change your mind about - as long as an open mind is kept at all times. The other thing is the boy. He will not like ANYONE I date, he's so use to having me pretty much all to himself. He's even admitted to me that he will never like anyone I date - but (let's call him local dude) local dude may win him over. I will not bring him into the boys life for a while though, maybe the first time might be Thanksgiving.. and then there's Thanksgiving and my nut ball family. Will it scare local dude away? They truly are crazy and I'm usually the brunt of their nastiness and rarely last long at holiday get togethers because of it - hopefully the family behaves themselves! AND, because I don't want to get involved with anyone who wants to remain in Vegas - one of the first things I asked him was "Would you move away from Vegas?" his answer was yes!!! When I mentioned that I've been contemplating going to NH he said "Cool, close to home" (he's originally from Maine) SO that is a good sign, yes?

Oh and one more thing... I bought a pair of jeans at Ross today (not wanting to spend to much money on them since I am still losing weight. Size 18!!!!! I have jeans in my drawers that are size 28 and fall off of me! I'm so excited about this. I think once I get a tummy tuck (hopefully next year)I may be able to fit in a 14/16! I haven't worn a size 18 since I was 30 or a 14/16 since I was like 20 or something!! Go Nana!

Sometime tonight I should have Nova's post and her new pictures posted on her blog - but check out the cute ones that are there now. They aren't coming as frequently as I would like but I'm trying to be patient about them not sending me more pictures (as patient as I can be though I call everyday and leave messages to send more pictures LOL).

Anyhow, that's what's going on over here. What's going on over there with all you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I have a post that I've been trying to write...

A reflection post, one that has been very difficult to put to "paper" but one I for some reason seem to need to write...

Got a bit of writers block. Hope to be able to write soon.

In the meantime, new photos of Nova are up on her blog(or will be in a few minutes).(link is on the right side of this blog)

Seeing her, just solidifies to me that there is beauty in this world, love in this world and makes me want to work harder to bring peace to this world,so that she and any future grandchild, as well as my own children can one day know what it is like to live in a world of peace.

Peace.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I know, I know...

I wasn't going to share pictures of Nova here, since she has her own blog Nova Leone but I couldn't resist sharing this one! I think she is actually kind of laying down on my sons lap, but I flipped it and so it looks like she is sitting up. This is Nova's week 2! Can you believe how fast that went? And still I've yet to hold her. *sighs*

Friday, October 16, 2009

Are you looking?

Did you see?

Come on.. go look. How can you NOT look at her. Go on, go over and see that baby that I ache to hold so badly.

Cause you'll want to hold her and love on her just as much as me, once you see the cuteness of my granddaughter...

HOW could you NOT!

Nova Leone

New Wordle...

I know I have lots to share, but Joe from Joe in and around Las Vegas did my wordle again. This time he did two for me and said, "Seemed to want to emphasize STUPID SISTER for some reason." LOL Probably because that was the last post I did before he did the wordles. Yes, I said wordles! He made me two this time and I love them both so am posting both. I think these things are so cool!

Enjoy! Oh and don't forget to go over to Nova Leone and check out her newest pictures. She's a week old today!


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My stupid sister.

My sister will be 36 in a month. This is my sister who has only one brain cell and uses only half of it. She really is that dumb, seriously. I'm not kidding... she's my half sister actually, so I suspect she got her stupid from her mother.

She was dating this guy who is a total asshole and is 63 years old (3 years younger than my father - and my sister, while stupid is very beautiful, so essentially she was his trophy girl, cause Dude, this man is UGLY and he spent most of all her money that gram left her). She finally left him in August and now, she is pregnant. As much as I adore babies (I bet you didn't know that! lol) I'm so very angry and disappointed with her right now. I haven't spoken to her in 2 months because she tried to steal my xanex and last month she stole some of my fathers pain pills. See, stupid sister, a thief and a liar to boot.

But, because she is my sister, I spoke to her yesterday. She hasn't decided what to do yet, but I reminded her that she would be tied to this asshole for at least the next 18 years if she kept the baby. She can't take care of herself,never has been able to, how is she going to take care of a child?(she lives with our dad, her mother and my daughter and there is NO room left in that house for another being, especially with all the things that baby will need!) And I have an extra room since my daughter left that I would gladly make into a nursery... so guess who will probably raise this baby should she keep it. Yep, you guessed it. Me. I would do it to, even though I am pretty much done raising children and am kind of looking forward to finally having a life again. (I would like to meet someone one day and get married again and be happy, but, what other choice do I have?) I could say no, but I wouldn't do that to an innocent child. Plus, stupid sister loves to go out nightclubbing every weekend, doing X and smoking pot and popping any ones pills she can get her hands on! What a winner of a family I have, eh? (and my Aunt just reminded me that if stupid sister couldn't take care of it, HE would never allow anyone else to and he would take it and none of us would be allowed to be involved - HOWEVER, he is strung out on prescription pills, so I might have a chance of proving him unfit, yet that would cost mucho money...god what a mess this all is)

So, right now it's all up in the air still and I'm probably stressing myself out for nothing at least for the moment... My father can not help her out not like he did when my kids were young and her mother, well she takes care of Dad pretty much 24/7 and from what I am seeing she is on the verge of a complete mental breakdown,(I am not exaggerating either, I'm totally serious) so she can't do it and there's NO WAY I will allow my daughter to raise this child, help here and there sure, but raise it. NO.

I tried not to be TO negative when speaking to stupid sister, not an easy task and sadly I wasn't very good at not being too negative...though I truly made an effort...umm...kind of... I told her I would take the baby and raise it as my own should she decide to remain pregnant, but I would expect child support from the asshole or her. I told her how very difficult and lonely and sad it is to raise a child as a single mother. I know she would love the baby, but I also know she just cannot take care of it. Oh and did I mention, she doesn't work. She's been a hairdresser for 16 or so years, has NO following and pretty much everyone in Vegas at the high end salons that she will only apply for jobs at, know her track record, her drug use and that she steals product - so she can't find a job and refuses to go to supercuts or some place like that because it is "beneath" her. (see, stupid sister)Oh yes and she owns a BMW, with a 500$ car payment that my father has been paying for, for a year now,money that he doesn't really have, so he goes without lots of things because of that. Why she didn't buy it outright in the first place, like I did with my Jeep (she had more than enough money to pay for it the day she bought it) is beyond me... see again... stupid sister. BRAINLESS and CLUELESS.

Today she said she was going to planned parenthood (but couldn't figure out how to find one, even though they have internet, so I had to find one for her) to see how far along she was and to figure out her options. I'm not opposed to abortion, but I'm not for it either as I do believe there are times when it is the best thing to do..like in cases of rape and incest and a very sick baby I am for it in those types of cases... I also reminded her about all the drugs she has done in her first trimester, which could possibly have harmed the child. So if she does keep it, it may be a special needs child which she definitely could NOT take care of, thus leaving it in my hands. I hope she thinks this one through, completely, the pros and cons of it all... but I highly doubt it, she just isn't bright enough to look at it from all directions.

I guess I will find out more later, once she returns from planned parenthood and if she decides to terminate, I will have to be the one to take her and bring her home - fun fun fun.

I'm just too tired to think straight right now, so I'm off to take a nap. As much as I would love to have another niece or nephew, I just don't think it's a good idea. I also told her that she had plenty of time to have children, that perhaps the best thing to do would be to fall in love, get married and THAN have children (to not do it like I did it - I can be stupid at times too). But she's so stupid, picks the wrong men (which is something I tend to do too, I suppose we can blame that on our father, or at least at one time we could, but we are both adults now and really have no one to blame but ourselves on that one)so who knows.

Ok, I'm falling asleep as I type this at 3pm in the afternoon, I'm off to nap. I threw my back out today and had physical therapy this morning which was pretty painful to say the least...

Oh and don't forget to check out Nova's page! Nova Leone She's still the cutest baby in the world!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Nobel Peace Prize

Any thoughts on the President receiving the Nobel Peace Prize?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A New Blog

I've begun a new blog, dedicated strictly to Nova. I've just finished the first entry. You can read it at Nova Leone. The pictures I've put up on the first entry most of you have seen, but there are comments included as well. It's written as if Nova herself is writing it. It was fun to do and I hope to keep it fun, informative, loving and amazing.

I also will most likely do a semi-monthly or monthly newsletter chronically her milestones and current events that are happening in the world, so that as she gets older she will know what was going on in the world as she grew up.

My only worry is that for some reason blogger may not exist at some point in the future. I'm considering when I can afford it, creating her own domain name and moving all that I have over to it. Any other suggestions that I might be able to use?

Check it out when you have time. Comments are open, so feel free to leave comments telling her how gorgeous she is! I'm hoping to keep up with it everyday, but knowing me, it may be every other day.

Peace.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Nova, again.

Sleepy time

The cutest face ever

On her way home!
Nova left the hospital and went to her home! Eventually, I think I will set up a separate blog dedicated to Nova. For now, bear with me as I show her off here. (for some reason blogger won't let me upload pictures, so I'll post them another time)

Oh and don't forget it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please do your part! There's a ton of different things out there that you can purchase and the proceeds go to helping cure Breast Cancer. Today while at Sunflower Market, I noticed they had the cloth shopping bags that are pink and black. They cost me 99 cents and all proceeds go to helping find a cure. I also needed a container to drink from, since I don't buy plastic water bottles, I use a PUR pitcher, but I found this really cool water bottle, that is pink and those proceeds go to Breast Cancer cure too. It's actually pretty cool, cause it has a container in a container and doesn't sweat all over the place.. also I usually use cloth bags any ways when I shop, because plastic bags are not good for the environment, so it wasn't really frivolous to buy three of them. While I'm not a fanatic when it comes to going "green" but I do what I can. I buy green products if it is something I use.

Peace.