Blast from the past, part 2.

*apologies to those that read this before. I fixed the spelling on it 6 times and for some reason it never took! It hurt MY eyes to read it each time with the misspelled words, I can't imagine how it felt for others! I believe it's been fixed now. Bah.*

My mother came out one more time after that, to "check" on me, but really to make sure the house was still clean (it wasn't) there was food in it (there wasn't), the kids were clean (they were, somehow it got through to me on that aspect)... and blah blah blah...

A few months went by. I was still in the midst of my breakdown, full force of it. The girl was in school, the boy to young to care about anything other than what kids that age care about and the year now.. 1997. (and I think I got the year wrong in my earlier post, I think the year was actually 1996, not 1995) He was nearing three. I was completely over the edge of insanity, spending an enormous time online (AOL back then)and not doing what one who has two young children should be doing, or what society says we should be doing. Mother never came out again. Dad came over often, usually bringing food. My savings had pretty much diminished, having spent a good portion of it on tuition for school that I never finished up, after all was said and done.

I woke up one morning and just couldn't do it anymore. I had about 600$ in savings, maybe. I began to pack my stuff not knowing where I was going, only knowing that I had to leave Vegas. The girl was in school and I really didn't want to take her out, not sure where we were going, so I finally relented and called Dad who of course took her for me. She was to stay only long enough to finish out school and for me to find us a place to live and a job that would take care of us all.

I packed a few things into a uhaul, sold all my appliances, my home went into foreclosure and the boy and I were off. I only knew I was going east.(one day I will tell the story of moving cross country with 400$, more than once!)A friend of mine, who I'd met real time said, Come here! Just outside of Pittsburgh, Pa. Telling me that the boy and I could stay there till I found a job and a place to live. She failed to check with her husband though. It took me about 6 days to get there, only to find out that he did not want us staying there. I was shook to my core. Already unbalanced and fragile, what was I to do?

We stayed there 5 days and I borrowed money from him, giving him the carat diamond ring I had designed and had made as collateral. I was also pretty pissed at her...but still needed her, unfortunately. I found a small one bedroom apt, in the basement of a house that sat on the same plot of land as a morgue/mortuary, in a town of less than 200 people. The day we moved in, everyone knew of us. I managed to get a job in a small tavern and loved it. My friend babysat for me and promptly fell in love with the boy. That Christmas, a few months after moving in, when I would come home from work, I'd find different things on the porch, 2 Christmas trees, presents, food - it was surreal. My job at the tavern didn't pay enough for us to have any of that and while I was looking for a new job, one wasn't coming quick enough.

Oh, let me back up a bit.. I had never been in the snow.. not when it fell out of the sky at least. Sure I'd been around snow before, but never had I lived anywhere that it actually snowed. Before the first snowfall, the tavern owners girlfriend asked me if we had warm jackets. I, coming from the desert, said no. To which she replied, well, we need to get you some as it is going to snow. Now, mind you, I am still in my depressed state and not thinking real clearly.. a voice I recognize as my own says to her "from the sky?" after a fit of hysterical laughing, she shook her head yes. Duh! (there is an article written about me by a smalltime columnist in the local paper, titled, Snow comes from the sky. If I can get it scanned or if I feel up to it, I'll post it here, though there are some exaggerations in it, it's almost accurate and pretty funny). So, we lived through our first snowstorm (and many more!).

I became increasingly restless in that little town though to this day, I love small towns. My car had broken down and through someone I met online, I was offered a car, but had to go to Maine for it. I asked my friend if she would watch the boy and she said yes... but she was becoming more and more attached to the boy (at the time, she could not get pregnant and wanted a child very much) and her attachment had begun to scare me. She started dropping hints about taking him for good from me. Bringing up adoption and things of that nature, but there was no one else to watch him the few days it would take me to take a train, than a bus to Maine and drive the car back. I was gone 5 days. On my third day, driving back to Pa, I stopped and stayed in a hotel. That night I called her to let her know that I was taking my time getting back, that it would be a few days before I got back, as I was pushing myself and felt I needed to take more time and not drive so much. She promptly told me not to come back and that she was taking the boy.

Needless to say, I freaked out. Still not in my right mind, it never occurred to me that she couldn't just "take" him, though she claimed I had abandoned him. I drove as fast and long as I could and was there within 2 days after that phone call. I took him and told her that we were done. I took more time off work to find a sitter and placed him in a home daycare that I really wasn't comfortable with, but felt like I had no choice.

Money was saved and I complained about the situation and worried about the boy at daycare, plus I paid "the friends" husband back and got my ring back. Then I was invited to come to Va, Lynchburg to be exact and stay with another woman I had met online (but never in person, as I had the Pa friend)....

In the dead of the night, about 8 months after arriving in Pa, with the help of a couple of men I had met,we packed up another uhaul, put the car on a tow bed and stealthed out heading to Va. I had no idea what was in store for me, just that I felt pressured to get the hell out of there before she could cause permanent damage to my family that wasn't even whole as it was...

To be continued...