Love.

Loving someone is never an easy deal, other than my own children and even at times they make it difficult to love them but I do always no matter what.

I never thought though, that I would love someone MORE than I love my own children, flesh of my flesh, born from me... but I do.

Yet, it isn't the same. It's a powerful love that I have for this tiny being I've yet to hold, almost an obsession or perhaps not even almost.. I AM obsessed with this little chubby cheeked human.

I'm constantly checking my email and facebook page for new photos of her and if I don't see any, I just open the folder up that I have with the pictures I have of her or I come here and read my blog, not to mention all the phone calls I've been making to my son when I DON'T see new pictures up, leaving him messages to post more pictures. Soon, he will be building a web page devoted just to Nova, but until then I'm at his mercy for photos which definitely are not coming fast enough for me!

What's going to happen when I finally am able to hold her and love on her and then have to leave her behind? My heart will be ripped apart, I just know it. If I thought I could stand it, I would move to Ventura County, Ca just to be next to her... but then I would also have to be near my mother, my ex husband and his wife and that would spoil it all for me.. no positive energy from any of those people.

They leave the hospital tomorrow, mama, daddy and baby. My DIL had to stay in the hospital for 3 days due to the c-section, which was odd to me, since my daughter was c-section and I think I was in the hospital only for 2 days - but who knows. At least they had people there to help them the first few days if they needed it, answer questions they might have, like Nova lost a pound and while I can tell them that's normal, they were more comfortable hearing it from a nurse, so it all works out well in the end.

I'm obsessed with my granddaughter and it's killing me to not be able to just run on over and hold her and kiss her and squish her fat cheeks. *sigh*