Monday, March 2, 2009

A decision and more....

About 15 minutes ago I spoke to my Aunt. I had been given wrong information again. The right side of his heart is NOT as healthy as I had been led to believe. Today, they take him to surgery to disconnect the RVAD and hope that the right side starts up again.

My fathers wishes are to NOT have a double VAD, he does not want to remain in the hospital for the rest of his life, which could be up to 10 years with a double VAD.

The decision: 3 to 4 weeks. That is the time limit discussed with my stepmother. If the right side does not start up on it's own, she will give the okay and they will remove him from the machines to die. They will only keep him alive by machines, if that becomes the decision, long enough for me and the kids to get down there. I'm just not sure that I want to see him like that or have my kids see him like that, a lasting memory, one that will never be erased. I know this from my own experience with the last memory of my beloved Papa, me waving to him from a hospital window (I was too young to go in back then) and him waving back, all the machines and stuff. He passed a day later. So, I have a choice to make, one I really hope that I don't have to make.
I'm not doing Giveaway Monday this week. I'm going to try to start again next Monday. Those of you who won the Skoy's, please be patient, I will try to get them out this week.


Yaya said...

Oh my gosh. I just cannot imagine what you are going through. you are in my thoughts.

annie kelleher said...

sending you big hugs... xoxox... annie