Sunday, February 8, 2009

Me and the Man

Well, it lasted all of 7 days. It was wonderful while it lasted.

See, he is studying to be a Jehovah Witness and they frown on premarital sex, not unlike most religions, or umm.. me, when it comes to my 18 year old daughter. Oh and some other stuff, but there's no need to go into that right now...

We had a long talk, he told me how he cared about me, how fast we moved, which for me was very odd, since I take my time and am always being told that I move to slow or I'm aloof, or stuck up or whatever, but I prefer to build a foundation first (but I did move fast this time, not sure what that was about either).. in other words, I don't bring men home to my house, just to have sex, EVER.(though after the first night, it was no longer about sex) I don't do one night stands and my children at 18 and 13 have only seen me with two other guys (Matt and Bear, neither of whom I don't think I've mentioned here ever, maybe one day. Well they see me with Glen, but him and I are just best friends) and even that wasn't all together the truth, the girl saw me with the boys father, but she was 5-7 years old, so that's how long it's been since a man has been around my kids for any length of time. I just do not believe in bringing men in and out of my life. If I think it might last, (like I did with Matt and Bear) then they get to meet each other.

Everyone liked each other, all of us got along brilliantly. He still is one of the most awesome men I have ever met and do I want to be with him still? Yes of course. However, not because he didn't want to be with me, but because he wanted to follow his religious beliefs and being with me, he couldn't. He's married still, 4 years separated, but because he is married and not single, his church would frown on us dating, or shall I say, his religious beliefs do. Plus, as in most organized religions, there is no premarital sex allowed. Now, if he WAS single (even though he's been separated for 4 years and it's really only a formality, in the eyes of his religion and his church, he is not single)we would be dating.

I would give up premarital sex to be with him. (I already know how good it is, if I had to wait till we were married, no problem)I would do a lot of things, to be with him, but it's not my choice, it is his.

And for a few moments, I wasn't ok with all that. For a few moments, I felt like something was wrong with me, for a few moments, I wanted to beg, plead, cry and all those manipulative things that so many women do, I just don't have that kind of practice,nor do I find it very attractive and probably would have messed it all up, completely.

We did agree however, that we would remain friends. I'm ok with this. I'll wait and see what happens. I'm not putting my life on hold, but who knows what may happen. One day he may be able to afford a contested divorce (there are children involved and she hates that he is a Jehovah Witness, so there will most likely be a fight for sure)and perhaps we will have built a foundation, beginning with friendship and continuing onto who knows...

Oh and I met a cute cop today. He flirted with me at Circle K.. I flirted back, just a little smile here and there which is the best flirting I know how to do LOL. Then I left and he must have left shortly after myself. I live on major street, pulled into my driveway, got out of the car and heard a horn honk... guess who!! Yep, the cop... a K9 cop no less and he was waving and smiling at me! Woo-hoo!

Oh and this other guy, the last one I dated when the boy was a baby (I stopped dating altogether till the boy was about 11, so I could just concentrate on raising the kids) at any rate, I joined this personal thing.. for bikers (cause I'm a harley riding biker grandma to be babe) and he sent me an email, telling me he had been looking for me for 12 years. We've been talking the last 2 nights and I finally remembered why we stopped seeing each other. He lived in CA, I in NV plus I was still so afraid to open up to someone, having just left a bad relationship. But, we're talking now and who knows what will happen there. He rides a badass harley though, that's for sure!

Not sure what's going on here, but they are crawling out of the woodwork! Kind of fun though, so I'm going to sit back and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.


annie kelleher said...

nature abhors a vacuum :). good for you being mature and wise enough to let this (potentially) good man go do what he wanted to do. he's not really single - separated four years isn't exactl the same - and you don't need anyone else's ideas of what's "right" or "wrong" shaping your life. as you can see, you are a beautiful woman and you DO attract male attention. now, the question is, what sort of male do YOU want? i'll email you about the reading... xoxox.... annie

Lea said...

Thanks Annie, I really appreciate your input. You always say the right things.